


reputation

by lovesafragilelittleflame



Series: Hopeless Kingdom [2]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-22
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-22 09:25:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13761132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovesafragilelittleflame/pseuds/lovesafragilelittleflame
Summary: - Sequel to Hopeless Kingdom - Bella and Edward travel the world to solidify their relationship before facing what reality holds for them. Can Bella handle what it takes to be with one of the deadliest men in Chicago? A/U - AH - RATED M





	1. ...Ready For It?

_DISCLAIMER_ : All recognizable characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended.

 

**_ reputation _ **

_Knew he was a killer, first time that I saw him. Wondered how many girls he had loved and left haunted. But if he’s a ghost then I can be a phantom, holding him for ransom. Some boys are trying too hard, he don’t try at all though. Younger than my exes, but he act like such a man, so I see nothing better. I keep him forever, like a vendetta. ~ Taylor Swift, **…Ready For It?**_

            “I don’t want to do this,” I grumbled to myself. Edward and I had only been in Italy for a week or two before Heidi called. She wanted me to come back for a few days to attend the Grammys at the beginning of February. I told her no.

            Our compromise has become me in a hotel suite in Paris, surrounded by a film crew, watching the show live. If I win, they’ll broadcast me live from Paris.

            I would’ve rather just send one of my collaborators in my place in case we win anything, but Heidi insisted. She let me run away with Edward, so this is me paying her back I guess.

            The worst part was that Edward couldn’t be here. We were trying to keep our travels and relationship as hush hush as possible for right now. Mostly because we don’t want paparazzi following us around the world.

            I didn’t trust the crew surrounding me to not spill to some tabloid about the man with me, so Edward was in our actual suite on the top floor. Probably blissfully asleep while I was surrounded by people that kept giving me side glances at three in the morning. _Time zones suck._

            To make matters worse, I had a check-up with my doctor this afternoon. I knew my side was feeling a million times better. I could move without pain now, which made me unbelievably happy. My shoulder would act up from time to time, but I never needed the sling anymore. The doctor said I still had to keep up with my physical therapy for my arm, but my abdomen was healed. It also meant I could resume all regular physical activities.

            Which meant that tonight should have been spent with Edward making me scream his name, not surrounded by cameras and prying eyes.

            On the plus side, I had already won Best New Artist and Song Written for Visual Media. I lost Pop Vocal and Pop Solo Performance, but I never thought I would win them. I’m a mediocre vocalist at best, and I know it.

            Song Written for Visual Media was the only one I wanted. I had never felt like I deserved any of these fancy awards, but I can’t say that about this one. This whole process was about making music that transformed into visual art. We submitted every song off of _Badlands_ for this, and _Control_ made the cut.

            Now, I had to sit through the rest of the show for Album of the Year. It was the ‘highest honor’ of the night, and they always saved it for last. So, I spent the next hour sitting in an uncomfortable chair in a scratchy dress watching the show with people I didn’t know. _Lovely_.

            “And now, the nominees for Album of the Year,” the presenter said.

_You’re not going to win, but it’ll be okay. You’re not going to win, but it’ll be okay._

            I repeated my mantra over and over as they listed all of the amazing albums also nominated. I did get to leave after this was over, so that’s the silver lining I was looking forward to.

            “And the Grammy goes to… _Badlands_ by Isabella Swan!”

_Fuck. Shit. Damnit._

            The man across from me gave me a thumbs up, telling me that the camera was live. “Oh, _wow_. I definitely wasn’t expecting this. Um, there are so many people that made this whole process possible. Peter, you signed me to your label without a second thought, I hope I made it worth it. You and Alison helped me find my musical side, there would be no album without the two of you.

            “All of the talented producers and musicians I got to work with to put this album together, you guys made everything come to life. And, of course, thank you to the Recording Academy and everyone who voted. This is unbelievable, thank you.”

            God, I hated speeches. I always fumbled over my words and never knew what to say. But, shit, I won album of the fucking year.

            The camera went dead and I relaxed slightly. “Are we good?” I asked the man in charge of this whole thing. I didn’t remember his name.

            “Yes, Ms. Swan. Thank you, and congratulations,” he told me, a kind smile on his face.

            I was able to sneak out of the room while everyone else cleaned up the equipment. It was nearing five in the morning, so I didn’t have to worry about bumping into anyone in the halls as I made my way back to my suite with Edward.

            Not two seconds after I opened the door were strong arms lifting me off of the ground and swinging me around.

            “Fuck, I’m proud of you!” Edward mumbled against my neck.

            “I’m surprised you’re still awake,” I laughed. Edward finally set me down on my own feet, but his hands never left my body. He pulled me into him, his lips immediately seeking mine.

            “Of course, I’m awake. I had to see my girl win album of the fucking year at the Grammys.” Edward’s smiles seemed bigger than mine. Pure joy was radiating from him, and it was infectious.

            “ _And_ best new artist _and_ song written for visual media,” I added, because I was pretty fucking proud now. Edward had the energy I needed to get excited about these wins.

            He pulled me into the small living room of our suite and there was a tray of champagne and chocolate covered strawberries waiting for us.

            “Congratulations, baby,” Edward said as he popped the champagne and poured us both flutes full.

            “I wish you could’ve been down there with me,” I said. The moment they said my name each time would have been much more exciting with Edward there with me.

            “I do, too. Next time,” Edward said confidently. _Ha, sure_.

            As I looked at him standing in the dark room, his chest bare and his legs only covered by a pair of silk boxers, I had a very good idea of how I wanted to celebrate.

            “I met with the doctor today, remember?” I asked him. I knew he remembered, he flew the doctor in for crying out loud. I knew he just didn’t want to push me into anything.

            We still fought sometimes, about the shooting and how we both handled it, but the fights weren’t anything serious. We knew they would end, and neither of us would ever leave the other.

            “And?” Edward asked, his face trying to hide his hopefulness that he might get laid sometime in the near future.

            Aside from the morning I caught him in the shower in Chicago, we hadn’t done anything other than a few heavy make out sessions. We both knew that if we let ourselves do much more we would get carried away and, until now, we couldn’t let ourselves get carried away. _Now, though…_

            I quickly chugged my flute of champagne and smiled at Edward. I started to make my way toward our bedroom before I replied. “I’m cleared to resume all regular physical activities.”

            “That’s, uh, that’s great.” Edward coughed out, his eyes followed my every movement, while mine landed on the tent that started to form in his boxers.

            I shifted my arm and pulled the zipper of the sparkly grey dress down on my side. _Game on, Cullen_.

            “Fuck,” Edward muttered under his breath. He downed his own glass before crossing the distance over to me in just a few long strides.

            His body crashed into mine, and we stumbled backward until my back hit the wall next to the entrance to our room. Our lips met in a frantic kiss, tongues and teeth colliding with force.

            Edward pulled his lips from mine, but my own never left him. I nibbled down his jaw and spent some time adoring his ear lobe. I knew what the sound of my moans did to him, so I gave him a contented sigh in his ear before trailing my kisses down the column of his neck to his shoulder.

            “Are you sure you want to –“

I let the hand that I stuck down his boxers be his answer.  

             “Fucking vixen,” Edward grumbled. He pulled my hand away from him and lifted me in his arms easily. My legs wrapped around his waist as he carried me to the bedroom, but only for a few moments. As soon as we reached the bed he loosened my legs from around his hips and gently tossed me onto the fluffy mattress.

            Edward covered my body with his quickly, and pulled my dress down so it bunched around my stomach.

            I tried to not think about the giant scar on my shoulder that was on display for Edward, but it started to cloud my thoughts. I had been very careful around him, he never really saw the scars I was left with after the shooting. Until now.

            Edward gently traced his fingers along my neck and down to my right shoulder. Then, he bent his head down to pepper soft kisses along every inch of the scar. His kisses made their way back up my neck to my lips.

            He carefully pulled out the pins that were holding my hair up in an intricate braided contraption. I didn’t want people knowing my hair was shorter, it was just a little way I thought I could stay more inconspicuous.

            It fell just above my shoulders now. Edward loved running his fingers through it.

            “I love you,” Edward whispered against my lips.

            I kiss him gently for a moment. “I love you, too.” I replied. After another second of gentle kisses I ground my hips up into his, letting him know I was ready for more.

            More kisses were trailed along my neck and collarbone. When Edward made it down to my breasts, he palmed both of them in his hands, his lips and tongue giving each one equal attention.

            Edward leaned back and slid my dress down my legs, and I felt a twinge of embarrassment at the larger scar on my side. His lips covered it in soft kisses, just like they did with my shoulder. He spent more time here, kissing and licking the skin right above where I wanted him the most.

            There was no preamble before Edward gripped both of my thighs and spread them as far apart as they could go. There were no gentle, teasing strokes before he sucked my clit roughly into his mouth, his tongue teasing it mercilessly.

            “Shit!” I shouted when two fingers entered me, immediately curving to find the spot Edward knew drove me crazy. His fingers pounded into me quickly and his tongue continued to work over my clit, driving me into a frenzy.

            Both of my hands gripped Edward’s hair, holding him in place as I started to feel my stomach tightening. 

            “Come for me, baby girl,” Edward mumbled against my skin.

            A loud moan escaped my lips while my entire body convulsed. Edward’s movements never slowed, and I swore I could feel that cocky smile on his lips between my legs.

            Before I had time to recover, or even just catch my breath, Edward had my legs over his shoulders and his cock buried completely inside of me. There was nothing gentle or calm about his movements as he pounded into me.

            “Our trip is about to get a lot more interesting, Bella,” Edward grunted out. He leaned down and grabbed both of my breasts in his hands and gave them a satisfying squeeze.

            “Just think of all of the places I can fuck you,” Edward continued, his hips still keeping up his hard and fast thrusts and his hands still attached to my breasts. “Think of all of the ways I can make you come.”

            I let out an odd, strangled, gasp. It made Edward’s hips move that much faster. My legs started to go numb from being bent at such and odd angle for so long, but I didn’t care. 

            Edward’s cock hit that sensitive spot inside me during three perfect thrusts and I felt my muscles clench around every perfect inch of his cock. He never stopped moving.

            Edward threw my legs off of his shoulders and he gripped my hips, lifting the lower half of my body off of the bed. I threw my head back at the force of his thrusts at this new angle.

            Sweat dripped down my body and I could see tiny beads of it dripping down Edward’s chest. _God, he’s beautiful_. His face scrunched in concentration and his eyes focused where his cock was pounding into me. Nothing was hotter than Edward when he’s focused, especially when that focus is directed on us.

            Our hips made sloppy sounds as our skin slapped together. Edward’s breath began to come in harsh pants, and all of my breath left me in loud moans.

            “Again,” Edward demanded, and two harsh thrusts later I had no choice but to come around his cock, his name falling from my lips in a scream.

            Edward stilled, his cock still buried inside of me. I could see the muscles in his stomach contracting as his cock pulsed his release inside of me.

            One of his hands traced along my stomach, across my breasts, and eventually landed at my neck.

            “Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he muttered. Edward leaned down to kiss me, his hand on my neck lightly massaging the skin there.

            Edward collapsed on the bed next to me, and it took us both a solid ten minutes before we could say or do anything else.

            Edward looked over at me and smiled when he saw I was looking at him. “I’m really fucking proud of you.” He pulled me into him, his arms snaking around me.

            “It is pretty cool, isn’t it? Three Grammys…” I hadn’t really thought too much about them. All day had been about getting through the telecast and then by the time that was over all I wanted to do was jump Edward. But I had won three Grammys. _Three_.

            “Yeah, pretty damn cool.”

 

…rep...

 

            When I woke up the sun was peeking through the window at an odd angle. I strained my neck to see the clock and saw that it was nearing two in the afternoon, but Edward was still fast asleep next to me.

            I gently extracted myself from his heavy arms and pulled on one of his discarded button-down shirts that was lying around. I tiptoed out of the room, and gently closed the bedroom door behind me.

            I needed to be alone for what I was about to do.

            Academy Award nominations were today. It was early morning in the states, and I knew the nominations were going to be announced in about an hour.

            I had never actually watched them, though. When I got nominated the first time, I was out of the country and asleep during the nomination announcement. I had about three hundred texts and calls when I woke up about it.

            I had been nominated once since then, but I was working when the announcement happened. I lost that time, obviously, but I didn’t care. I had one Academy Award and that was more than I could have ever hoped for.

            Not now, though. Winning those Grammys set a fire under me. My competitive side was flaring and I wanted to win.

            Heidi had been emailing me since we left town and she’s let me know what award’s I’ve won already.

            I won two Golden Globes, Best Actress in a Motion Picture (musical or comedy) and Best Original Song. Surprisingly, _Hurricane_ won the globe for original song. It was odd that _Control_ would get the Grammy nom for it and _Hurricane_ the Globe. Oh well, I’ll take whatever I can get.

            I also managed to snag a Screen Actors Guild award for Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role. _Gotta love those little naked statues_.

            Typically, if you win the SAG you get the Oscar nom, and usually the win. It was just how it worked. But that doesn’t mean it was a complete science. I could still get screwed over because I hadn’t done any promotion in the months leading up to the nominations.

            I grabbed my laptop and flipped it open. There was supposed to be a live telecast of the nominations online. It would be easier to watch that as opposed to trying to find the right channel over here.

            I got the page pulled up with two minutes to spare before the live stream started. Jesus, there was a reason I never watched this before. _Too fucking stressful_.

            The bedroom door swung open and made me jump. Edward stood there, clad in a new pair of boxers, and stared at me.

            “You weren’t going to wake me up?” he asked, a frown on covering his face.

            I just shrugged. I didn’t want him here if I was just going to be disappointed after.

            Edward walked over and set my laptop on the coffee table in front of us. He pulled a blanket off the back of the sofa and draped it over our laps as he sat next to me, his arm falling around my shoulders and pulling me into his side.

            The screen changed and some fancy music started to play.

            “Shit,” I mumbled.

            Edward laughed a little at me, but grabbed my hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

            The president of the Academy made a short speech, before a comedian, I didn’t catch her name, came on to start announcing the nominees.

            They started out with categories like Production Design and Sound Mixing, none of which I thought I would be nominated for. My legs started to bounce and I began picking at my freshly manicured nails. Damn, this is nerve-wracking.

            They kept up with the announcements, going through categories like Animated Short and Visual Effects.

            “How long does it take to get to the actual acting awards?” I grumbled.

            Edward placed a gentle kiss on the side of my head. I looked over at him and saw he actually looked a little nervous, too. _Damn, he’s adorable_.

            “You didn’t think you’d get any of these?” Edward asked.

            “No, we didn’t have the budget to go all out on wardrobe, or to get too fancy with the editing.”

            Edward nodded, his eyes focused on the screen.

            Supporting Actress was being announced and my nerves doubled. We didn’t have anyone expected in the category, but we were getting closer.

            After a few other categories such as Best Foreign Film and Documentary Short, we got to Original Song. I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my head in Edward’s neck. I was squeezing his hand so tight I was surprised he hadn’t complained. But he was squeezing mine nearly as tight.

            “… _Control_ from _Welcome to the Badlands_.” That’s me!

            “Fuck, yes!” Edward shouted. His arms wrapped around me and my eyes shot to the screen.

            “Oh, my God,” I mumbled. Seeing my name on that list was unbelievable.

            They went through a few other categories, but I just stared at the screen with my mouth hanging open. I think Edward kissed my cheek, but I’m not completely sure.

_I’m nominated for an Academy Award._

            They moved on to Leading Actor and I held my breath as they went through the list. “Austin Greggory in _Welcome to the Badlands_.”

            “Yes!” I shouted, or more like squeaked. Austin played the ‘Jacob’ of the movie, and he was Alison’s younger brother. Alison was my best friend in the business, and her brother had taken an interest in acting while he was in college.

            I had needed an actor who wouldn’t draw too much attention to the project, because we wanted to keep the whole thing quiet while we shot, and someone who would do it for a pretty small amount of money. I funded the whole project, after all.

            I was pretty proud of how much Austin grew as an actor on that set, and I was unbelievably proud that he was nominated.

            “And now, the nominees for Leading Actress.”

            My eyes were glued to the screen this time. My heart was pounding and I think my ears were ringing. _This is it._

            “… Isabella Swan in _Welcome to the Badlands_.”

            Every late night I spent worrying about how I was going to pull this movie off. Every day I spent in a recording studio meticulously going over lyrics and beats. Everything Jacob put me through that inspired that whole thing.

            It was all worth it.

            Edward’s arms picked me up off of the couch and he swung me around in that cliché way guys do in every romantic comedy. I kind of loved it, though.

            “I can’t believe it,” I mumbled to myself.

            Shit, this is unreal.

            Being nominated for an Oscar is every actor’s dream. Whether they’re just starting out and were doing car commercials, or if they were a little more established and working on some high-profile projects, they all wanted it. No matter what they say when they’re asked.

            I have been nominated twice in my short career, two times in about five years is unbelievable enough. When I won three years ago I never had any expectations that I would win another, or ever be nominated again.

            To have a project I conceived completely on my own receive this kind of attention is mind boggling.

            “This is… amazing, Bella,” Edward said once he put me back on my feet. He gave me a quick but passionate kiss on my lips, and I couldn’t stop the giant smile that took over my face.

            “And now, the nine finalists for Best Picture.”

            I flopped back down on the couch and let my head fall back against the back cushions and my eyes close. All of that stress was exhausting. I had no expectations for a Best Picture nomination, so I could finally relax.

            I could feel Edward on the couch next to me, and I peeked at him. He was sitting with his arms propped on his knees, and his head in his hands. He had a look of complete concentration on his face as he stared at the screen as movies popped up.

_God, I love him._

            I sat up on my knees and started to place kisses along his shoulder and up his neck.

            “ _Welcome to the Badlands_.”

            My lips froze on Edward’s shoulder and my eyes flew to the screen. _No fucking way_.

            “Oh, my God,” I mumbled. I sat up and pulled the laptop into my lap. That couldn’t be right. “Oh, my God,” They showed a list of the films nominated for Best Picture and there it was. “ _Oh, my God_.”

            I looked up and Edward was standing there with a flute full of champagne, and a gorgeous smile on his face.

            “Congratulations,” he told me. I took the glass from his hand and downed it quickly because, _shit_ , Best Picture.

            “I just – I can’t believe it,” I told him. I stood up because I was starting to feel jittery, like every nerve in my body was bouncing around underneath my skin.

            “I mean, I hoped for Original Song and maybe Lead Actress. Once the Academy decides they like you, you’ve kind of got an in, you know? So, I thought they might throw a nom or two my way,” I said as I paced around the living room in circles around Edward.

            “But Best Picture? I mean, that’s… that’s _Forrest Gump_ and _Silence of the Lambs_ and...”

            Edward’s hands gripped my arms and stopped my pacing. I looked up at him and reveled in the look of pride and wonder in his eyes. _I put that there_.

            “And you’re Isabella Swan. You are, without a doubt, the most talented woman I have ever met. Most of those people are good at one thing: acting. But you, you’ve also got three Grammys under your belt now. Don’t ever think that you don’t deserve a place amongst them.”

            I took a deep breath to calm down, and then looked up at Edward. I stared at him for a few moments. Seeing the excitement in his own eyes made my stomach fill with butterflies.

            “I’ve got three Academy Award nominations,” I whispered and a smile crept up on my face.

            “That’s pretty impressive,” Edward whispered back. His arms wrapped around my waist and played with the hem of his shirt I was wearing.

            I stood on my tip toes so I could reach his neck and give him light kisses along the column of his throat. “Thanks for watching with me.”

            “Shit, I don’t know if I’ve ever been that nervous.” Edward admitted. He bent down to trail kisses on my neck now.

            “Nothing compares to sitting in the theater surrounded by the best actors in the world waiting to see who won. _That’s_ stressful.” My arms traced up Edward’s, enjoying the feel of his muscles under my hands. My right hand found a bumpy patch of skin. “What’s this?”

            Edward looked down at his arm and shrugged. “I got grazed by a bullet about a year ago.”

            I sighed and leaned over to give his arm a light kiss.

            “Do you want to call anyone?” Edward asked, but started to walk me back toward the bedroom at the same time.

            “Not really, I think we need to properly celebrate first.”

 

…rep…

 

            Unfortunately, I’m forced to face reality the next morning. My phone had vibrated on the nightstand all night long. Eventually it got overloaded and turned itself off. Now it was time to finally go through the thousands of emails, phone calls, and texts I knew were on it.

            Edward went to the little office in our suite to work a bit. He didn’t work nearly as often as he usually did, but I knew he still had to keep an eye on his business. I think he was also playing around with the stock market.

            I curled up on a chaise lounge with my phone and laptop. I pulled up my text messages on my laptop and spent a good two hours replying to all of them. I sent a simple ‘thank you!’ to most of them. But some of my closest friends sent paragraphs about how excited they were for me, so I took the time to truly thank them. Those were few and far between.

            I sent Austin and his family a group text.

_So, so excited for Austin’s nom! I’m out of the country now, but I’d love to have you all over for dinner a few days before the ceremony if you’re free and in town. Let me know!_

            Alison and Austin’s parents were amazing. They sacrificed everything so their kids’ dreams could come true. They were always so nice to me whenever I was around them, they started to feel like my surrogate parents, too.

            I knew Edward and I were going to end up in Los Angeles for at least a week for the ceremony. It was the one thing I promised Heidi before I left, that we would come back for the Oscars if we got nominated.

            I dreaded it at the time, but now I was pretty excited about it. The thought of going on the red carpet made me want to vomit, but the actual show should be fine. Exciting, even.

            I wanted to win. There was no denying that. I’m not a competitive person in my day to day life. But when it comes to my job, I wanted to be the best. I wanted to break records and accomplish things no one before me has. And I wanted to add another golden statue or two to my collection.

            I found a voicemail from my dad and decided to call him back.

            “Bells! How’s it feel?” he asked, his voice booming.

            “Hey, dad. Still pretty unreal.”

            “Best Picture! You’ll get at least one more, I know it.” Charlie’s voice got farther away from the speaker as he called for my mother to come join him. _Perfect_.

            “Bella! Congratulations, darling. We’re so proud of you,” Renee said. To my surprise, she actually sounded like she was proud. I must have caught her in a good mood.

            “You’re coming back from that odd vacation for the ceremony, aren’t you?” Renee asked me.

            I called them from Chicago before Edward and I left and told them I was going to be gone for a while. I couldn’t have the conversation in person because I couldn’t handle Renee’s judgy looks. It was just easier to deal with her over the phone.

            Charlie didn’t mind, of course. He just told me to be careful.

            “I’ll be in Los Angeles for about a week, I think, for the ceremony. Then I’m going back out.”

            I can practically feel the disappointment radiating off of her over the phone.

            “Well, we’re real proud of you Bells. You let us know if you need anything from us, okay?” Charlie said.

            “I will. Thanks, dad.” I hung up after that.

            A few minutes later I was finally done replying to texts and moved on to emails. I had about twenty from Heidi, all from within the last twenty-four hours.

            Heidi is a phenomenal manager, one of the best in the business. But Oscar nominations are enough to send even the best managers into a panic.

            Most of Heidi’s emails were about interview requests. The month before the Academy Awards, if you were nominated, was filled with interviews. Twelve hours a day were spent talking about yourself and your project. It was exhausting.

            Her emails got more frantic as she told me that, because Control was up for Original Song, it was customary for me to perform it. _Shit_.

            I knew that was how things worked, it just completely slipped my mind. I had never performed on live television. I didn’t really have time for award shows and such during _Badlands’_ release. Now my first award show performance of it was going to be at the fucking Oscars.

            I typed out a quick response to the most pressing issues Heidi brought up.

            _I’m not doing any interviews before the ceremony. I’ll do a few on the red carpet. If we win I’ll do the press room, appropriate shows the next day, etc._

_We’re not milking the shooting for sympathy votes. Have Claire put out a simple thank you statement from me._

_Tell me more about the performance and what I can do with it. Can you even say ‘goddamn’ on television?_

I started to go through the look-book of designer dresses that were attached to one of Heidi’s emails next. It consisted of dresses by designers I typically wore. I was scrolling through the images when Edward emerged from the office.

“How’s it going?” He asked me. He came over and leaned down on the floor next to my lounge.

“I’m already exhausted. I want to go to the show, but I also don’t want to leave our little bubble here.” I slid my laptop off of me and pulled Edward into the chair. I let him sit where I was and then situated myself in his lap.

“How long do you think we need to be in Los Angeles? A week or two?” He asked.

“Probably closer to two if I’ve got to rehearse a performance. At least.”

“That’s not too bad. Two weeks there, followed by you winning a few Academy Awards, and then we can go to… London? Ireland? Wherever you want.”

I thought about it for a moment. “Somewhere with a beach. Just for you and me.”

“Done.”

I smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss. “Thanks for putting up with all of this.”

“Bella, there’s nothing to put up with. I’m so fucking proud of you, and I can’t wait to see you in your element there.”

I guess I was pretty excited about it too. I was ready to win.


	2. End Game

_I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put ‘em. Reputation precedes me, they told you I’m crazy, I swear I don’t love the drama, it loves me. And I can’t let you go, your hand prints on my soul. It’s like your eyes are liquor, it’s like your body is gold. You’ve been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks, so here’s the truth from my red lips. ~ Taylor Swift, **End Game**_

…rep…

 

            Calloused hands roamed across my bare back, and soft lips left wet kisses along my shoulder. _Not a bad way to wake up_.

            I hummed in pleasure and turned my head toward Edward. “Good morning.”

            Edward gave me a lazy smile and continued his exploration of my neck. Vacation was doing him wonders. He was less moody and had a healthy glow about him. I didn’t know if the glow was from less stress or happiness or both, but I loved it.

            I had decided there were two different Edward’s. Not in a ‘take him to the nearest mental hospital’ way, but in a way that helped me come to terms with him and his life. My Edward, the one who woke me up with gentle kisses, was my favorite. He was loving and passionate and would do anything for me.

            Then, there was the Chicago-Edward. He was cold and hard and ruthless. I had only seen glimpses of him, but I knew I would see him more in time. It was hard for me to imagine my Edward doing those things, but his words the night of Alice’s party bring me a little bit of comfort whenever I get too worried about it. 

            _I’m not a good man, Bella. I’ve killed people. I happily killed the man who outed you to Volturi, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat if it meant keeping you safe… If protecting what I love means I have to get my hands dirty, then so be it_.

            Of course, I knew there were things his family did that weren’t just about protecting themselves. They didn’t need to deal the drugs and weapons that they did. That was just business to them, I guessed.

I wondered if Edward saw me the same way. _Actress Bella vs. his Bella?_

            “That’s too much thinking for this early in the morning,” Edward mumbled against my neck.

            I craned my neck up and checked the time. “Shit, I have to get up,” I stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom.

            Edward, being the gentleman that he is, allowed me to at least use the toilet before he joined me. He leaned against the counter while I brushed my teeth and made myself somewhat presentable.

            “Last day of rehearsal, right?” He asked.

            I knew what he was getting at. It was killing him that I never let him come to a rehearsal.

            We had gotten back to Los Angeles about ten days ago, and from the moment we walked in the front door I had been working. Heidi had booked me a rehearsal studio, and I was there from seven in the morning until seven at night. Today was the last rehearsal, until soundcheck at the actual venue the day before the ceremony.

            I didn’t want Edward distracting me at rehearsal, and I knew he would. One look from those bright green eyes and I would be imagining him doing very bad things to me, and he knew it.

            I did feel bad leaving him alone all the time. Every time I mentioned it, Edward told me he had work to do anyway, but I still missed our little bubble of just us.

            “Austin, Alison, and their parents are coming over for dinner tonight,” I reminded him.

            I couldn’t wait to see them all. Alison had been busy, she was on tour the same time I was last year, so I hadn’t seen her in months. We tended to lose touch while we were both busy with work, but we always knew we were still there for each other when things calmed down.

            Austin had been swamped the last month, too. Poor guy had to jump through all of the media hoops for his nomination.

            Edward nodded. “I can work upstairs –“

            I frowned. That’s not what I meant. “No, I want you to meet them.” I told him. Then a knot of guilt formed in my stomach. “I don’t mean to… I don’t like hiding you away. I just like having you to myself.”

            Edward pulled me into his arms and his hands rested dangerously close to my ass. “I know. We’ll have to come clean eventually, but this isn’t the time.” His hands kneaded my ass through my sleep shorts and his lips attached themselves to my neck.

            “I have to go,” I mumbled against the soft skin of Edward’s chest.

            Edward ignored my weak protest and pulled me against his obvious arousal.

            “We haven’t had sex in seven days,” Edward complained, his hands still grinding me against him. _Don’t I fucking know it._

            “I know. I’m just busy and stressed and –“ Edward cut me off with his lips.

            Edward pulled away from me, a gentle smile on his face. “You’re like a boxer before a big match,” he let me go after another quick kiss.

           

…rep…

 

            I had just enough time to get home and showered before everyone showed up for dinner. Edward was dressed in a pair of dark slacks and a light grey button down. He had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and it made me want to revisit our conversation from this morning.

            I pulled on a simple black, long-sleeved romper. Edward came over just as I was straightening it, making sure if covered the scar on my shoulder. He pulled the sleeve down and kissed along the discolored flesh.

            The buzzing from the gate interrupted the moment, and I straightened my sleeve again before heading down stairs. I buzzed them in and went outside to wait for them. Edward met me outside, his arm wrapping around my waist.

            Alison and Austin exited the car and their parents, Sophia and Ethan, followed. I ran over and Alison met me in a big hug.

            Austin wrapped his arms around me from behind and pulled me away from his sister, lifting me off of the ground.

            “Put her down, Austin,” Ethan scolded. I just smiled.

            “Come in,” I told them. I grabbed Edward’s hand as I passed him and pulled him inside with me.

            We gathered around the living room. “Edward, this is Alison, Austin, Sophia, and Ethan Greggory. This is my boyfriend, Edward Cullen.”

            Alison gave me a you’ve-been-holding-out-on-me smirk and I just smiled at her.

            Ethan reached a hand out to Edward and they had one of those stare downs where they size each other up. _Ridiculous_.

            “You taking good care of her?” He asked, his voice much more gruff and intimidating than I knew it actually was.

            “I’m trying. She doesn’t make it easy,” Edward said, smirking in my direction.

            Ethan just laughed, and I knew Edward had won him over. The boys got into a discussion about sports, football I think, and the girls wandered into the kitchen. I still kept an eye on Edward though, just in case. _I didn’t like sharing_.

            “He’s gorgeous,” Alison said the second we were in the kitchen.

            “Yes, he is,” I agreed with a smile. I pulled the food out of the oven and set it on the table. I couldn’t take credit for it, I had ordered a meal from my favorite Italian restaurant down the street. All I did was stick it in the oven to reheat it.

            “How long have you been seeing him?” Sophia asked.

            I frowned. That was a complicated answer. “It was rocky at first. I met him in June of last year. We had a bit of a falling out around the time of the, uh, shooting. We’ve been traveling together since the beginning of the year, though.”

            “And how are you doing, sweetie?” Sophia asked me. Her eyes were sad and she reached an arm out to pat my hand.

            Sophia was the mother I always wanted. She was kind and loving and cared. She was unbelievably proud of her children. There was never a moment she wasn’t supporting them. I’ll always be thankful that she decided to take me under her wing, too.

            “I’m doing okay. I still have to work on getting my arm back to normal. But,” I shrugged. “I’m alive.”

            “I still just… can’t believe that happened.” Alison said, shaking her head.

            The men decided to come in then. Edward took the food out of my hands and started carrying everything to the table. I shook my head to clear my mind of dark thoughts. Tonight was a good night, a night of celebration.

            Dinner flowed easily. I was happy to see that everyone got along well with Edward. Not that there was anyone Edward couldn’t charm, but I wanted my friends to like him, and vice versa.

            We talked about Austin and I’s nominations, and what Sunday would bring. Ethan asked Edward about his business and I immediately tensed up. Edward just placed a hand on my thigh and went into an in-depth conversation with Ethan about his business dealings and the stock market.

            I talked with Alison and Austin about how Edward was going to be with me on the red carpet, but as a member of my team and not my boyfriend. That way he could be near, but no one would suspect anything.

            This was just what I needed. I needed a quite night with friends to forget about the stress that was waiting for me in just a couple days.

 

…rep…

 

            Edward found me on the couch in the living room early Sunday morning. I had brought out my first Oscar and set him on the coffee table in front of me. I had been staring at it for about an hour before Edward got up.

            He didn’t say anything, he just came and sat next to me. He leaned back and put an arm around my shoulder without a word.

            “I want to win,” I blurted out. Edward’s head turned toward me as I continued. “I know it’s egotistical to think I deserve another. I should be happy with one. I’m young, I have time to make more movies and get more awards. But I want one for _this_ movie.”

            “This one is all you. You wrote most of it yourself. You made the music. It’s your story. You can’t tell Emmett or Jasper, but I’ve spent some time searching the internet about tonight. Your name has come up quite a bit as a leader in who will win.”

            I wanted to take comfort in that, but I couldn’t. Things were too unpredictable. Most people usually just mentioned my name to get more clicks on an article.

            “No matter what, you put out an incredible film. You should be proud.”

            I looked over at Edward and smiled. “And you’ll be there to make me feel better after I lose?” I asked him.

            “Win or lose, I’ll always be there.”

            The rest of the afternoon went by too quickly. A team of stylists surrounded me nearly the second I got out of the shower, and I haven’t had a moment alone since.

            Kate got here early and began prepping Edward for what he could expect. Heidi and Claire, my publicist, got here not long after her and began prepping me about what I should expect.

            Edward found me around one and tried to get me to eat something, but I was too nervous. I could eat later.

            Time seemed to move at light speed the rest of the afternoon. I got more panicked as we got closer to the time to leave. Not panicked about the ceremony, but the red carpet.

            The last time I was on one wasn’t pretty. Images of Kate hovering above me, covered in my blood, flashed through my mind.

            Fuck, why did I agree to this?

            I looked at myself in the mirror after my stylists had helped me into my dress. It was a nude color, and from a distance it might look like I was naked, but I liked the symbolism. This movie bared my soul to everyone, so it was kind of fitting.

            The dress covered nearly every inch of my skin; it had a high neckline and long sleeves, but the nude sequined lace looked nearly see through on the hanger. Of course, I was wearing nude under garments to cover the important bits, but they were practically invisible.

            I must have spent too long looking at myself, because Edward knocked on the door. “Bella?”

            “Come in,” I told him.

            He looked magnificent. Edward in a tuxedo was a sight to behold. His black tuxedo was classic and I knew he would blend in fine in the crowd. His hair was still out of control, but I liked it.

            “You’re… breathtaking.” He told me. He took my hand in his and made me twirl, his eyes taking in every inch of my dress.

            “You do seem to be missing something, though.”

            That made me frown. I looked down; I had heels on, my hair was pinned up in another intricate knot to disguise my short hair, and my makeup was flawless.

            I looked back at Edward and saw he had a shiny black box in his hands. _Oh_.

            “You didn’t have to…” I started to say, but Edward opened the box and revealed the most gorgeous pair of diamond earrings I had ever seen. Each had a cluster of a few diamonds flowing up, they would look like a mini cuff on my ear. Then there was a single teardrop shaped diamond hanging down.

            Edward ignored my protest, took the earrings out of the box and handed them to me. I quickly hooked them in my ears, and Edward pushed my hair back slightly so he could see them.

            “Beautiful,” he told me. His eyes shimmered with love and I had to force myself not to cry. Chrissy would kill me if I ruined my makeup already. “I know I won’t have much time to see you once we leave, so I’m going to tell you this now.”

            I nodded and he continued.

            “I love you. I’ll love you if you win tonight, and if you don’t. I’ll love you if you trip on the red carpet and if you forget the words on stage. But I’m so goddamn proud of you. You’re standing here even though I know you’re terrified to go out there. You’re the strongest woman I have ever known.”

            I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing the tears to back away. “You couldn’t have said all of that before I got my makeup done?” I asked with a little laugh. I wanted to kiss him. I really wanted to kiss him, but I couldn’t.

            Things moved at light speed again, and before I knew it I was sitting in a line of cars waiting to be dropped off at the carpet. Kate was with me, but Edward had gone ahead with Heidi and Claire. They would be there when I got out.

            “This is it.” I told Kate.

            She gave me a smile. “This is it.” She agreed.

            “I’m so fucking nervous. I don’t remember being this nervous last time.” I told her, clutching my stomach that felt like it had someone doing summersaults in it.

            “That’s because this one was all you. You made the movie, you _were_ the movie. It’s more personal.”

            I frowned. “When did you get so wise?”

            “Time off has done me wonders,” she said with a smile. She did look pretty happy.

            The car came to an abrupt stop and there was a soft tap on the window. _Fuck_.

            The door opened slowly, and the rumble of the crowd creeped in. I took the outstretched hand of the valet opening the door, and plastered on the best smile I could manage.

            There was a fan stand on either side in front of me, and a sea of reporters filled the center walkway. I kept a smile on my face and gave a small wave to the people in the stands. Heidi and Claire were immediately next to me, and I saw Edward standing next to Ben and Eric.

            Edward told me he had them following us all through our vacation. I recognized Ben, of course, from the night of the shooting. I didn’t put up a fight when Edward requested they be here, too.

            I was ushered through the press line by my team, and I felt Edward’s warm hand on my back, leading me through the throng of people.

            “We’re not doing red carpet interviews,” Claire whisper-shouted in my ear. _Thank God_.

            We were surrounded by chaos. I could hear my name being said by reporters as I walked past, but I never stopped to look at them. Once one got my attention I would have to stop for them all.

            A few people stopped and gave me kind smiles while they were in the middle of interviews, but Heidi and Claire kept me moving.

            Things were a little calmer when we got to the backdrop for pictures. I didn’t spend much time there though. Claire moved me through the line quickly, much to the disappointment of the photographers shouting at us.

            We did arrive a little late, so I supposed that could be my excuse. I knew they were probably doing it so I didn’t get too overwhelmed, though.

            Heidi and Claire went with Edward to my dressing room backstage and Kate walked with me to my seat. “You’ve got this,” she whispered to me as I sat next to Austin.

            “This is crazy,” he whispered to me just as the host came out. Ellen was hosting again this year, and I was pretty excited about it. She was one of my absolute favorite people in this industry.

            “Bella Swan made it tonight, and I think I speak on behalf of everyone in this room when I say we’re happy to have you here and safe, even though you’ve beaten most of them out for one award or another in the past.” Ellen said during her monologue. I knew about ten different cameras would be on me, so I laughed and gave a comical shrug.

            Then, the waiting began. Most of the categories I was nominated in were typically saved for the end of the telecast, so I had to sit back and wait. My performance would be near the middle of the show, though. And it wasn’t long until Kate found me again to pull me away to change.

            It was complete madness backstage, but eerily calm in my dressing room. Edward stood in the corner, quietly watching over everything. He looked nervous, which made me fall in love with him more and then doubled my own nerves.

            Kate helped me change into my performance outfit. It consisted of a body suit that cut of at my panty line. It was cream and had a simple floral leaf pattern along it. The straps covered my arm in just the right spot, and the sweetheart neckline dipped down just above my belly button. Then, at my waist, there was a belt that hooked four large panels of cream tulle around my waist that flowed to my feet.

            A producer came in and told us we had five minutes before I had to be ready and my stomach dropped. _Shit, shit, shit._

            “You’ve got this, Bella.” Kate told me, her arms clutching my shoulders. I took a few deep breaths and nodded.

            I turned to look at Edward, and his eyes burned into mine. He didn’t have to say anything, his eyes said it all. He gave me a nod and my favorite cocky smirk.

            I could do this.

 

…rep…

 

            Everyone was cheering around me when I entered my dressing room again. I guessed that meant the performance went okay, I couldn’t remember. I was pretty sure I blacked out.

            The second I was in the room Edward had his arms wrapped around my waist, squeezing me as tight as he could.

            “You were amazing. That _growl_ …”

            It was my turn to smirk at him. I had been working on my vocals for the song for the past two weeks. I knew he would like the little growl.

            “We’ve got to get you changed. There’s about twenty minutes until they announce Original Song,” Kate told us.

            Edward let me go and people immediately surrounded me to help me change. I was back in my seat within ten minutes, sitting next to Austin.

            My heart was still racing from the performance, and I knew I had a goofy grin on my face. The hardest part of tonight was over, and it went better than I could have expected, I think.

            The actress who won Supporting Role last year walked on stage with the iconic envelope. She started reading the nominees, and I saw flashes of each face appear on the screen behind her.

            Austin grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

            “And the Oscar goes to… _Control_ , Isabella Swan.”

            Austin jumped up next to me and began clapping, and I sat there with my mouth hanging open for a few seconds before I was able to pull myself together.

            I stood on shaky legs and gave Austin a quick hug. Bradley Cooper rushed over and held my arm as I walked up the steps. He liked to constantly remind me of the time I tripped when I won my first Oscar, so I guess this was him making up for all of the teasing.

            When I got to the mic in the center of the stage and was handed that shiny gold statue my heart burst. _I did it._

            “Oh, wow. I just –“ my voice cracked but I did my best to power through. “I put everything on the line to make this movie and album happen. Literally every single person told me not to do it,” I laughed. “But I did it anyway, and it might’ve been stupid at the time, but it was so worth it. Um, Alison and Peter, you taught me everything I know about music and writing songs. I couldn’t have done this without you. There are a million other people to thank, and I know I’ll forget someone if I try to list them all. Just… thank you.”

            I hugged my new golden friend to my chest and was ushered off the stage. My mind was going a million miles a minute. People around me congratulated me and gave me hugs. I didn’t know most of them, but I was in too big of a haze to care.

            Heidi met me with a smile at the press room. I only had time for a few questions before I had to get back for the last few categories. Most of them were simple questions like how it felt to win again, and what the day had been like so far.

            Heidi took my statue and promised to look after it for me. A few people reached out for high fives as I walked past them to my seat, and Austin gave me another hug as I sat down.

            He lost his category, but was a gracious as ever as he clapped for the winner. This had been Austin’s first movie. For him to have gotten a nomination was impressive. I knew it wouldn’t be his last.

            Leading Actress and Best Picture were the last two awards to be announced. I wasn’t nervous anymore, though. I was high on the adrenaline from by Original Song win.

            My head fell into my hands and an impressive string of curses escaped my mouth when my name was announced for Actress in a Leading Role.

            I stood on even more unstable legs than before and this time Austin helped me up the stairs.

            “Oh, my God,” I mumbled into the microphone, holding my second statue of the night. “This is… I just…. _Wow_.” Every single person in the theater was now standing and applauding and I was pretty sure my blush was so powerful it was visible through the inch of makeup covering my face. “I’ve had the honor to work with and learn from some amazing people. And I know I wouldn’t be here without their guidance and friendship.” I shook my head, trying to think of something better to say, but my mind was completely blank. “You’ve been with me through the darkest moments of my life,” my voice came out in a sob, but thankfully the tears hadn’t started yet. I knew there were a lot of people who were going to think I was talking about them, but Edward knew. “And you know who you are and I love you. _Thank you_.”

            I didn’t have time to go through the press room again, because Best Picture was being announced next. Someone grabbed my statue from my hands, hopefully Heidi or Claire, and I was rushed back to my seat.

            Austin looked at me in bewilderment and I returned the look. As they listed off the nominees for Best Picture I knew what I had to do. I had this feeling, deep in my gut, that I wasn’t winning. But I also knew I wasn’t done.

            I hadn’t thought much about what the future would hold for me. I had contemplated giving up acting completely right after the shooting, but it hadn’t crossed my mind since. That wasn’t an option now though.

            _Spotlight_ won Best Picture and I stood and clapped for the cast. I was truly happy for them because I knew I shouldn’t win for this. This wasn’t my time. Not yet.

 

…rep…

 

            The next three hours were a blur. I spent a while in the press room, and took the obligatory photo with everyone who won the main four acting awards.

            I was ushered around a room filled with reporters. I was hugged by every person I saw. I sat and chatted with the man screwing my nameplate to the plaque on both of my statues. Kate sat next to me for that, but I wished Edward could be sitting there instead.

            Next time.

            I was in a car around eleven and on the way to a nearby hotel to change for the Vanity Fair party. I didn’t really want to go, but I knew I had to. Edward, unfortunately, was already at the hotel with Heidi and Claire.

            He was coming to the party, though. I would finally be able to spend a little bit of time with him after this crazy, hectic night.

            I tripped walking through the lobby because my eyes were glued to the two statues in my hands. Kate caught me, thankfully.

            When we entered the room, everyone went completely silent. Edward was there, still in his tux, and his eyes were green fire.

            He stalked toward me, and I pushed my awards into Kate’s arms. Edward lifted me off of the ground, his arms tight around my waist. His lips crushed mine, but it was an odd kiss because we were both smiling too big to do much in the way of actual kissing.

            “I’m so fucking proud of you,” he whispered against my lips.

            I wanted to kick everyone out and spend the rest of the night with Edward. I wanted to know what he had done all night and wanted to tell him about mine, but that would have to wait.

            We got separated after that because I was led into a bedroom to change into my final dress of the night. It was similar to my original in that it had a high neckline and long sleeves, but the beaded and woven detail stand out against the soft fabric of this one. It was a neutral gold, just like my two new statues.

            Edward and I got to ride together on the way to the Vanity Fair party. When the car stopped and it was time for me to get out, I made an impulsive decision. I was too deliriously happy to care much, though.

            “Come with me.” I told Edward, a giant smile plastered on my face.

            “I’ll meet you inside.” He told me with a smirk.

            “No, come with me, _now_. This is probably the biggest night of my career. I don’t want to meet you in the corner of the party. I want you by my side.” I held out one of my statues to him. “You hold one, I’ll hold one.”

            “Bella, there’s a line of photographers –“

            “I know. I don’t care.”

            Edward gave me an incredulous look, but eventually he grasped the statue out of my hand.

            It took some maneuvering, but Edward switched spots with me so he was out of the door first. _Ever the gentleman_.

            Once he was out, his hand reached out for mine and he helped me out of the car. Claire was already there and looked at me like I was insane, but I just shrugged.

            This was my night. I was going to do what I wanted.

 

…rep…

 

            “Now, you have three. _Three_ Academy Awards. How does that feel?” Ellen asked me.

            I relaxed back in comfortable white chair and smiled. “Not real. I don’t think it’s really sunk in yet. Probably because of the exhaustion,” I laughed, but it was completely true. I had been up over twenty-four hours, but it was worth it.

            Edward and I caused a bit of a scene at the Vanity Fair party, and I was going to have the picture of him smiling down at me, an Oscar in each of our hands, framed. I had never seen either of us so happy.

            Our happy moment was a bit tainted after Jacob showed up at the party. I knew Edward was still pissed about it. He went back to my place before the interviews this morning, mostly so the questions about him would be easier to dodge.

I dodged questions about him for the rest of the night and into the next morning, but it wasn’t hard. I had a lot of other things to talk about.

            This was my last stop, talking to Ellen on a special live episode of her show.

            “You looked gorgeous last night, you had quite a few different dresses. This was my favorite.” On the screen behind her, a picture of Edward and I on the red carpet at the Vanity Fair party popped up.

            I laughed. “I liked that one too, it kinda matched the awards, you know?” I said seriously.

            “Now, who’s that handsome fella holding one of your awards?” She asked me with a smirk.

            I just shook my head at her. “You’re the only person I’m going to let get away with asking that and not give you a snarky remark.”

            “You had an amazing response when someone asked you that on the Today Show. Absolutely amazing!”

            A clip started to play behind us. The woman interviewing me brought up Edward and wouldn’t stop pushing the subject. Eventually I got fed up and said “I just won two Academy Awards. I have more important things to talk about other than who’s arm I was on last night.”

            “You know, Ellen, some reporters just don’t get the hint when you don’t want to talk about something.” I told her.

            “Well, you definitely did have more important things to talk about. Last night was phenomenal for you. I’m so proud of you, the film and album were amazing.” Ellen told me with sincerity.

            I smiled at her. “Thank you.”

            The camera’s stopped rolling and I slumped back in the chair.

            “Are you done after this?” Ellen asked me.

            “Yes, finally. I don’t know if I’ve ever been this tired.”

            The only thing that motivated me to get up was knowing my next stop was my own bed. Hopefully with Edward in it.


	3. Delicate

_Third floor on the West Side, me and you. Handsome, you’re a mansion with a view. Do the girls back home touch you like I do? Long night with your hands up in my hair. Stay here, honey, I don’t wanna share. ~ Taylor Swift, **Delicate**_

…rep…

 

            A tickling between my thighs woke me up.

            The last thing I remembered was stumbling home late Monday afternoon after the craziest thirty-six hours of my life. I think Edward had been in the shower when I got home. All I knew was that I collapsed in bed and was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

            A tongue sliding along the length of my pussy woke me up, though.

            My eyes popped open and I looked down to see an Edward-shaped bulge under the comforter. A loud moan escaped me as he took another full-length lick along my lips. _Shit_.

            I tossed the comforter off the bed and was met with Edward’s out of control hair sticking up between my thighs.

            “Good morning,” Edward said, his voice thick and deep.

            He took his time. He spent I don’t know how long lapping slowly between my legs. Every once in a while, his tongue would flick my clit a few times, but he always resumed his slow pace shortly after.      

            It was torture. Delicious torture.

            When I tried to thrust my hips up to meet him and move things along be threw an arm over my stomach. “Be good,” he told me.

            “P-please,” I begged. I sounded pathetic, but I didn’t care. I just needed _more_.

            “Please what? You’ve got awards for those songs you write, baby. Use your words.”

            Shit. I wasn’t good with the dirty talk like Edward. I loved listening to it, and I was pretty sure Edward could get me off with just his words alone, but I had no clue where to start.

            Another torturously slow lick ended with the lightest pressure on my clit and I wanted to scream.

            I gripped his hair and tried to get him where I needed him, but Edward pulled my hand free from his hair and pinned it to the bed. _Damnit_.

            “Talk, Bella.” Another light flick of his tongue and I was done for.

            “ _Fuck_ me,” I shouted embarrassingly loud, but I was past the point of caring.

            Edward didn’t do anything, though. He continued his slow ministrations, his tongue lazily tracing across my wet skin.

            “With my tongue? My fingers?” Edward asked, his eyes looking up at me from between my legs. _Jesus_.

            “Anything.”

            Two fingers slammed into me and my eyes immediately rolled back into my head. _Yes_.

            His fingers pumped in an even rhythm and Edward’s tongue moved along my stomach, across my breasts, until his face was level with mine.

            I opened my eyes as Edward brought the two fingers he was using on me up between us. His fingers glistened in the dim light. It was a surprising turn on to see his fingers coated in my arousal.

            Edward traced one of his soaked fingers lightly along my lower lip. “Taste.”

            My tongue peaked out and lightly licked along my bottom lip. It wasn’t as horrible as I would have thought it to taste. A little… tangy maybe?

            Edward pulled my lower lip into his mouth and sucked. He turned us so we were both on our sides, facing each other.

            My arms wrapped around his shoulders and I pulled myself as close to him as I could. The feel of his skin under my hands, his chest against mine… nothing could compare.

            Edward situated our legs, scissored between each other’s. He slowly thrust his cock between my legs, never entering me, but teasing me enough to drive me mad.

            I whimpered when he got right _there_ , but he pulled away again. “Please, please, please,” I mumbled over and over into his neck. My nails dug into his skin, but I didn’t have the mental capacity to worry about scratches.

            A loud porn-worthy moan escaped my lips as he finally, slowly, entered me.

            One of Edward’s hands gripped my ass to keep me in place and the other arm was wrapped around my neck, keeping me close. “Tell me how it feels, Bella.”

            I buried my head further into his neck. “So, so good. Like I’m complete. Whole. Full.” Words kept blubbering out of my mouth; random adjectives spilled from my lips.

            Edward’s lips covered mine and his hips abandoned their slow, even strokes for faster, harder thrusts. He kept his grip on me tight, and I tried to muffle the noises coming out of me by sucking on his neck. It didn’t help much, though.

            “Fuck,” Edward muttered, his thrusts becoming less even, more erratic.

            My teeth clamped down on Edward’s neck, harder than I meant them to, as my muscles clamped around him. Once my body rode out the waves of pleasure, every muscle I had sagged, and my arms fell limply from around Edward’s neck.

            Edward rolled onto his back, taking me with him. After our breathing returned to normal I looked up at him and caught a dark spot on his neck.

            I couldn’t help but giggle. “I’m sorry,” I told him, my fingers reaching up to trace the hickey already forming on his neck.

            “Marking me again?” He asked. His hands slid along my back, always tracing whatever skin he could reach.

            “Again?”

            “You practically stuck your tongue down my throat after a woman had the audacity to give me her number, unsolicited I might add, last night.”

            I had a very fuzzy recollection of that. I may have had a little too much to drink early in the evening.

            “She wasn’t just some woman, Edward. She’s one of the most sought-after models in the world.”

            Edward rolled us so his body pinned mine into the mattress. “She was fake. You’re real and passionate and mine.”

 

…rep…

 

I couldn’t sleep, so I left Edward snoring in bed and stumbled down the hall to the living room.

            Edward and I left Los Angeles just a few days after the Oscars, and haven’t looked back since. It was May and we have spent the last two and a half months on a private island. I didn’t even know where the island was, but I knew it was my favorite place in the world.

            I think Edward bought it, but I couldn’t get that information out of him no matter how hard I tried.

            The house on the island was beautiful. All deep wood, stone, and light, beachy furniture. There was in in-deck pool on the deck out back, with a gorgeous view of the beach right in front of it. There were lounge chairs everywhere; on the deck, in the house, even on the roof. There was even a pool table on the roof, as odd as it was.

            It was the perfect place for us to just be us.

            I had taken to waking up in the middle of the night, though. I was so used to only getting a few hours of sleep here and there, that now I never slept. Edward’s body did the opposite. He hardly got any sleep in his daily life, so now his body was catching up.

            My early mornings gave me time to work, though. I had all of these lyrics and story lines bubbling around in my head, and I needed to get them straight. I was nearly done, though.

            The songs were written, and I had nearly every drop and effect ingrained in my brain how I wanted it. Piecing the songs together to tell the perfect story was a bitch. I knew most people wouldn’t understand every little nod to what really happened, but those closest to me would. Mostly Edward.

            I hadn’t told him about this yet. I didn’t know what his reaction would be. It was one thing for me to make a movie about my relationship with Jacob. It was over and done by the time I did that. But Edward was here for the long haul, at least I hoped he was. He was also a private man, he had to be in his line of work.

            I left out all of the things that could get him arrested, of course, but I knew that wouldn’t stop people that knew about him from looking for holes in the story.

            I had everything laid out in front of me. Every little paper with lyrics scribbled on them surrounded me. I looked over each one and scenes flashed through my mind. _Yes, I could do this_.

            Now, I just had a script to write.

 

…rep…

 

“Harder, Bella.” Edward said, his voice gruff.

            I slowed my swings down, but put a little more force behind them. My hands were wrapped up in cotton wraps and Edward’s were covered in little red, flat mitts.

            My shoulder had been doing much better. The doctor didn’t need to come out as often anymore and recommended I start doing more intense workouts to increase the strength.

            Edward took it to another level, though.

            I had done intense physical training in the past. My role in _Tainted_ required some physical combat training, so I was used to some grueling workouts. Edward took it to the extreme.

            I knew there were ulterior motives behind him wanting to workout with me. One, he wanted me to be able to defend myself. I didn’t want to think about his reasons behind that, but I knew they were there. Two, he liked seeing me all sweaty and only in a sports bra.

            I was already starting to see changes in my body, and it was pretty exciting. I had always been in shape, I had to be for work. But I was never like this. I had more muscle, and even some abs that were starting to form.

            Edward loved licking them.

 

…rep…

 

            Two weeks later it was Edward’s birthday. It was pretty impossible to get him a present. We had food delivered to us once a week by a local couple on the mainland. I think Edward sometimes ordered odds and ends, but I had no clue where he had them shipped.

            So, I had to get creative for his birthday.

            I had spent the last few days creating a series of clues for Edward to follow. They took him all over the house, because I needed time between each one to leave an article of my clothing for him to find. It wasn’t a huge house, so I had to be careful when deciding where to put each clue so Edward and I wouldn’t see each other.

            I woke up early the morning of Edward’s twenty-seventh birthday. _Time to put my plan into motion_. I left the first one on my pillow. When he woke up he would immediately be grumpy that I wasn’t next to him. I heard him grumbling from my hiding spot, but then a little laugh after he read the note.

            I followed him around while he went from clue to clue, hiding as best I could. I knew Edward was typically hyper aware of his surroundings, but if he knew I was following he never let on.

            I left Edward to find the last two clues on the roof and quickly and quietly submerged myself in the pool, completely naked.

            I leaned my arms on the edge and looked up at the roof, waiting to see Edward. Sure enough, about a minute later, his head popped out from the edge.

            “Are you coming?” I shouted up at him.

            “Oh, I’m coming.”

            Just a few seconds later Edward emerged from the house, losing his boxers as he walked toward the pool.

            I smiled what I hoped was a sexy smirk as he approached. Once he was down a few of the steps into the pool I stopped him. I stood up, water dripping around me, and pumped his cock with my hand a few times before taking him in my mouth.

            His hands pushed my damp hair out of my face and began to guide my movements along his length. It didn’t last long though. I released him with a pop after just a few minutes and relaxed back into the pool.

            “Happy birthday,” I told him. He followed me into the pool and wrapped his arms around my waist as we floated together.

            “It’s been one of my better ones so far,” Edward said, his eyes glowing in the early morning sun.

            He was so relaxed here. He was happy and free to be himself. Edward had no stresses here and he glowed because of it. I was dreading the moment we decided to go back to reality, but I knew it was likely fast approaching.

            Edward twisted my body so my back was to him and moved us so we were along the far edge of the pool, the beach view right in front of us.

            “I love you,” he whispered in my ear. He lifted my hips slightly under the water, and I leaned my forearms along the edge of the pool.

            “I love the way you feel around my cock,” he accentuated the last word by slowly entering me.

            “I love it when you wake me up in the middle of the night because you want me.”

            Some nights, when I couldn’t sleep, I decided Edward didn’t need sleep either. He never complained, though.

            He kept an even tempo of thrusts as he continued to whisper in my ear. “I love watching you squirm.”

            One of his hands crept beneath the water to play with my clit. I let out a surprised squeak.

            “I do love those noises you make, too. I love how you blush when I make dirty words come out of those pretty lips of yours.”

            My head fell to the edge of the pool and Edward’s thrusts doubled in ferocity. It wasn’t long before he grunted out his release as I came around him.

            Later that afternoon I was in the kitchen cutting up some fruit while Edward took a shower. I had changed into some black cotton shorts and pulled on a simple black bikini top.

            I started plating the fruit when a stack of papers was tossed on the table in front of me.

            “What are these?” Edward asked, his voice harsh and unwelcoming.

            Shit. The script.

            “It’s just, uh, something I’ve been working on. Fruit?” I asked, holding out a piece of pineapple to him.

            “This is us,” Edward said. “Our story.”

            I nodded. “Yes, it is. Are you sure you don’t want some -”

            “I don’t want any fucking fruit, Bella. You can’t do this.” Edward held up the papers.

            “Excuse me?”

            “You can’t make a movie about us. People can’t know –“

            “Give me some fucking credit, Edward. I’m not putting the fact that your family is the goddamn mob in it! I don’t understand why you’re so upset.”

            “This is our life, Bella. It’s no one else’s business.”

            “My life is everyone else’s business, Edward. You know that.” It sucks, but was true.

            “Not anymore it’s not.”

            “And what is that supposed to mean?”

            “It means you don’t have to do any of that anymore. You can take other roles, and –“

            “I want to do _this_. Every actor relies on other people to make their career. I’ve had to suck up to directors and producers for years. I’ve had to sit through conversations with them telling me how inadequate I am, or how I’ll probably get a role because of how _fuckable_ I look.” My voice started to rise the angrier I got. “I have momentum right now. No one is doing what I did and I need to keep doing it, I _want_ to keep doing it.”

            Edward’s expression was unreadable. I couldn’t tell if he was still upset or not, but I didn’t really care anymore because now I was pissed.

            “I know you don’t understand. But those people, the ones that camp out for my movies and bought _Badlands_ and went to the shows, sometimes they’re the only friends I have. I didn’t grow up with a big family like you and I wasn’t the most popular girl in school. I didn’t have any friends growing up, but _those_ are my friends now. I owe it to them to let them into my life in any way I can.”

            I grabbed all of my papers off of the counter and left the kitchen. I picked up my laptop as I passed it and sequestered myself in the spare bedroom on the other side of the house. Even though it was childish, I wished there were regular doors here so I could slam it to make a point. Instead I had to deal with the silent gliding of the wooden panels.

            It was hard for me to realize, sometimes, that I had people I could talk to and count on these days. Growing up I had no one. There would be days when I didn’t say a single word at school. I didn’t have friends, and I spent years drowning in loneliness.

            Then I started acting and I had a group of the fiercest friends anyone could ask for. Those fans that have been by my side since the beginning are my friends. I didn’t see them any other way.   

            I knew it was hard for most people to understand my thought process on that. Most celebrities enjoyed their privacy, and I do too, but I also feel the need to let them into my life as much as they’ve let me into theirs.

            I sat on the bed and surrounded myself with all of my work. I was done letting people tell me what to do. Even Edward.

            The hours passed and I didn’t hear a thing from him, but I was lost in my own world, our world.

            I was doing this. I had to.

            It was around midnight when there was a light knock at the door. “Bella?”

            I rubbed my eyes and slammed my laptop shut. Most of my anger had dissipated as I worked, but I was still a little upset at how Edward handled the situation.

            I pulled the door open and Edward stood there, his hair disheveled. Probably from hours of running his fingers through it in aggravation.

            “I’m sorry. I assumed some things I shouldn’t have.”

            Edward hated to apologize, I knew it. A while ago he told me I was one of the only people he had ever apologized to. He said it showed weakness, something he rarely, if ever, did in front of others.

            “You’re the best at what you do, and I love your desire to continue being the best.” He held up a hand when I tried to protest. “I never realized how hard it was, how much effort it took for you to get to where you are today. It’s not my place to tell you what you can and can’t do where your job is concerned.”

            Just like that, all of my anger dissolved.

            “Thank you.”

            Edward’s arms wrapped around my waist and mine around his neck. I hated fighting with him.

            “Why didn’t you tell me you were working on this?” He asked me.

            I just shrugged. “I wanted to see if I could even do it, I guess. Then I started to get worried about how you would react.” Which I now knew was a valid worry.

            I couldn’t blame him, though. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that very few parts of my life were going to be private anymore. I couldn’t expect Edward to be okay with it immediately

            “Do you want to see some of what I’ve done?”

            The next few hours were filled with music and laughs. I showed Edward all of the songs I had written, and he convinced me to play them for him. They would sound completely different once they were produced, but he said he liked the acoustic versions just as much.

            He seemed much more okay with the whole thing after I laid out the entire plot. There was no mention of his underground dealings, or his involvement in why I was shot. By the end of the night, he was excited to see everything come to life eventually.

            The next night Edward told me to get dressed up. He decided we needed a night out, away from the island. As much as I hated to admit it, I agreed. We were starting to go a little stir crazy here.

            I pulled on a dark grey, flowy cropped t shirt and a pair of black, high waisted jean shorts. It was hot as hell here, so the less clothing the better.

            Edward drove us to the mainland on the boat we had docked here. I hadn’t been to the mainland since we arrived and even then, I didn’t see much of it. I was excited to be out and around people again.

            I shouldn’t have been surprised to see the car waiting for us when Edward docked the boat. He never did anything halfway.

            The car took us to a small bar. It looked kind of dingy, but it had character. I liked it immediately. It was odd, getting out of the car and not having people shouting at me. I had gotten too used to all attention being on me. I hated that.

            It was nice to be able to be myself outside of the confines of my home for once.

            Edward pulled us through the crowd and found us a tall table in the corner. The music was loud and the people were drunk, but it was a great atmosphere.

            We ate cheap bar food and drank to our hearts content. Later in the night, Edward convinced me to join him on the dance floor. Dancing didn’t seem like his kind of thing, so when I jokingly suggested it I didn’t think he would be so eager to accept.

            I was pretty sure the song playing was about sex. I couldn’t understand a word of it because it was in another language, but I could just tell. The beat was too erotic for it not to be.

            Edward pulled me to him and situated one of his thighs between mine. It seemed awkward and unnatural to me. “I don’t dance, Edward.” I laughed. The only reason I hadn’t fled was my alcohol-hazed brain.

            “Yes, you do. You dance with me all of the time. Just rock your hips.”

            My arms hooked around Edward’s neck and I let his hands glide my hips with the beat.

            “I don’t dance with you all of the time,” I told him, but I couldn’t keep the smile off of my face. This was fun, new. I liked sharing new experiences with Edward.

            Edward leaned his head down and whispered in my ear. “You fuck me all of the time. Those hips know to move.”

            Edward’s hips grinded against me and I could feel how turned on he was. _He is the most insatiable man on the planet_. One of his hands left my hips and moved to the front of my shorts. I had to push his hands away when he started to unbutton them.

            “You can’t do that!”

            Edward ignored my protest and continued to unbutton my shorts. His hand cupped my pussy and I looked around frantically to see if anyone was watching us. Thankfully, everyone seemed lost in their own little worlds.  

            “We’re perfect together, Bella,” Edward told me as two of his fingers easily slid inside me. “You needed a little adventure, a little edge. And I needed someone to pull me off of the ledge. You’re fucking perfect for me, baby.”

            His fingers increased their pace and his thumb put pressure on my clit. A whimper escaped my lips, but thankfully the music was too loud for anyone but Edward to hear it.

            “There is nothing sexier than seeing you come. Come for me, Bella.”

            I had no choice but to do what he said.

            Edward buttoned my shorts back up and kissed me slowly. I knew he was still apologizing. Sex was how he knew everything was okay. He equated sex with stability in a relationship, which I guess is valid sometimes. It’s probably not the healthiest way of dealing with things though.

            But, who was I to say what was mentally healthy?

            “I’ll be right back, get me another drink!” I shouted at Edward over the music. He scowled at me, so I pointed toward the bathroom.

            I took care of what I needed to and was washing my hands when I heard the door open. I looked over, expecting to see a group of girls, but there was just a man standing there.

            “Isabella Swan, a pleasure to finally meet you,” he said.

            I tensed up at the mention of my name. “I should be going,”

            He started to walk toward me, a disgusting sneer on his face. “I had to meet the woman that tamed Edward Cullen.”

            “I’m sorry, I don’t –“

            He had me pushed against the counter now, and the feeling of his body pressed so closely to mine made me want to vomit. “Don’t play dumb, Isabella. I saw your little… show earlier. Do you only put out for him, or is it anyone who is willing to stick their hands down your pants?”

            I pushed him away but he didn’t budge. I lifted my knee and quickly connected it with his groin.

            The door swung open and Edward rushed in. He lifted the man off of the ground and held him against the wall by his neck.

            “What the fuck are you doing here, Felix?”

            “Just getting to know the woman who made you go soft.”

            Edward slammed his head against the wall and twisted his arm at such an odd angle I heard I heard the bone when it snapped. Edward let his body fall to the ground and turned to me.

            He didn’t say anything, he just grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room.

            I didn’t say anything during the long journey back to the island. Even though there were about a million questions going through my mind, I didn’t ask any of them. I could feel the tension rolling off of Edward, and I knew he was livid about the whole situation.

            I didn’t know what to make of it. It was terrifying, being cornered by a strange man, but I also knew I could take care of myself if he tried anything. Edward made sure of it.

            I knew that being with Edward meant things like this could happen. I assumed that when they did they would make me run for the hills. But I wasn’t scared.

            I looked over at Edward, who was driving the boat back to the island. He was worth it. If he could get over losing some of his privacy, I could deal with this.

            I hoped.


	4. So It Goes

_All our pieces fall right into place. Get caught up in a moment, lipstick on your face. So it goes. I’m yours to keep, and I’m yours to lose. You know I’m not a bad girl, but I do bad things with you. ~ Taylor Swift, **So It Goes…**_

…rep…

 

            After the incident with Felix, Edward didn’t want to stay on the island much longer. It wasn’t safe, apparently. So, a few days later we went to Ireland. Edward found us an adorable little cottage that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. We were surrounded only by the gorgeous countryside.

            We hadn’t been the same since the night after Edward’s birthday. Our bubble away from reality had popped and neither of us knew what to do about it. Things were tense and I hated it.

            I would lie in bed and stare at the man next to me and feel weighed down by crushing guilt. Every day I would watch him sit at his computer to work and think about how I caused so much trouble between him and his family. It made my stomach churn. Sometimes I would purposefully fall asleep on the couch in the living room, just so I didn’t have to face him.

            I was pretty sure Edward thought I was quiet because of the Felix situation. I let him believe that for the time being because it was better than him knowing what was really going through my mind.

            I was my mother.

            Somehow, I had turned into everything that I hated. I brought unbelievable chaos into Edward’s life. I made him choose between me and his family. I let him put his life on hold to run away with me because I needed time away. He never really had a chance to say no when I dragged him to the Vanity Fair after party. And I practically forced him to be okay with me making a movie about our life.

            He should hate me. I hate me. He still whispers that he loves me every night though, before he goes off to sleep in the bedroom alone.

            Tonight, though, he carried me from the couch and situated me on the bed. When he got in beside me, he wrapped me in his arms and placed the softest kiss on my forehead. His tenderness made me want to scream. To tell him to leave me because I didn’t deserve him.

            I just laid there and pretended to be asleep. After waiting until I could hear Edward’s breath even out, I got up and went to take a shower. The shower had been my sanctuary ever since I was a kid, because in the shower no one could hear you cry.

            So, I turned on the shower, stripped off my clothes, and let all of the guilt from the day wash over me so I could do it all again tomorrow. The spray trickled over me as I sat on the floor, my knees pulled to my chest, and cried for as long as the hot water lasted.

            I stood up and turned the water off. When I pulled the curtain back to get out, Edward was leaning against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest.

            “What are you doing?” I asked him. I tried to keep my voice strong, but I knew it was obvious I had just been crying from the way it cracked. Even the shower couldn’t hide that.

            “You come in here to cry a lot.” He told me. His eyes were sad and tired. The happy, glowing Edward from the island was long gone. “I usually leave before you get out. I don’t like you crying alone.”

            _Fuck._ Guilt crushed my chest. He was too good to me. He should hate me.

            “What’s wrong, Bella?” It was a simple question, but there were so many answers to it I didn’t know where to begin.

            I pulled on a thin, grey cotton robe and averted my eyes from Edward. I walked past him to the bedroom. I had every intention of going back to the couch to continue my avoidance of the issues, but Edward grabbed my arm before I could leave the bedroom.

            “No. Talk to me, Bella. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

            I could tell he was trying to be patient with me. He was trying to keep his voice calm but I knew he was frustrated. It wasn’t hard to make him lose his temper, but I knew he always tried to keep a level head with me. Yet another reason I didn’t deserve him.

            Then the floodgates opened.  

            “I’m sorry,” I mumbled. “I’m sorry I’m so selfish. You’ve done… everything for me. You abandoned your family. You left work behind for months. You put your life on the line for me, and what have I done for you?

            “I forced you to be okay with a movie about your private life. I don’t have the right to do that. I _won’t_ do that.  I forced you to choose between your family and me. What kind of person does that?”

            I pulled my arm out of Edward’s, because I didn’t deserve to feel the comfort of his skin on mine. “I don’t know how you can even look at me and not be consumed with hate. Because you know what? I’m my fucking mother.”

            Throughout my whole rant, Edward just stood there. His expression was unreadable, the only emotion clear was concern. He probably thought I was insane. Which, I guessed, was pretty true.

            “All my mother cared about growing up was her happiness. If she wanted to do something, we did it. If she wanted to go on vacation to California, my father made it happen.

            “I just, I didn’t even fucking realize it, Edward! How long have I been like this? How long have I been just as terrible as her? She’s, shit, she was the reason I never wanted children before.”

            Some emotion finally broke through Edward’s face. I had never told him I never wanted kids. His forehead creased and his mouth opened, probably to interrupt me but I never gave him the chance.

            “I didn’t want to fuck up a kid like she fucked me up. I thought I could never do that to someone else but here I am, doing it to you.”

            Edward tried to approach me, but I backed away. I bumped into the wall behind me and let myself slide down, resting my arms on my knees.

            “I can’t even look at you anymore because I just get crushed with guilt. I’m just – I’m _so sorry_ , Edward.” I leaned my head on my arms and squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn’t look at the disappointment in his eyes.

            A had was on my cheek, lifting my head up, but I fought it. “Look at me, Bella.” Edward said. I didn’t move. “Damnit Bella, look at me.”

            I winced at is harsh tone, but lifted my head up and opened my eyes to look at him. My heart skipped a beat seeing his face so close to mine, it always did. But now it was always followed by crippling sadness.

            “You are not your mother. Everything you do is to make other people happy. Those movies and songs, they’re not just for you. You write them so other kids going through what you did don’t feel alone.”

            I shook my head at him and started to drop it again, but Edward cupped his hand under my chin and forced me to keep eye contact with him.

            “No, listen. You’re career driven, it’s one of the things I love about you. You want to have a long, prosperous career and there is nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you passionate. If the movie still bothered me, I would let you know.

            “Don’t ever think you haven’t done anything for me, Bella. Before I met you, I was on a… bad path. I was getting cocky and thought I was invincible. I didn’t care about the consequences of what I was doing and I didn’t care who I hurt in the process. I did some stupid shit, but that all stopped the second I found you.

            “I had a goal, an end game I needed to play out. And I couldn’t get there if I kept going in the direction I was.

            “You didn’t make me choose between you and my family, they’re still waiting for me back home.”

            Edward cupped my face with both of his hands and wiped the tears off of my cheeks. “I’m no relationship expert, but I’m pretty sure they’re about give and take. I hold you up when you need help, and you do the same for me.”

            “You don’t… you don’t hate me?”

            “I could _never_ hate you. When I look at you I see a woman who has worked non-stop since she was seventeen, a woman filled with kindness and compassion. Please, don’t ever think I hate you.”

            Edward pulled me into his arms and switched our spots so he was sitting against the wall with me in his lap. I didn’t know how long we sat there, but eventually I fell into the most peaceful sleep I had in weeks.

            The next morning, I woke up alone. I vaguely remembered Edward lifting us off of the ground and putting both of us in bed, but that was it.

            I tightened my robe around my waist and got up to search for Edward. I followed the scent of freshly made coffee out to the small deck, and there he was. His back was to me, and he had a cup of coffee sitting on the old wooden banister.

            I looked at him for a minute, just stared at him while he looked across the countryside. He seemed very deep in thought, and I hated to interrupt. But, eventually I walked over and hooked my arm with his and rested my head on his shoulder.

            “I need to go back to Chicago.”

            Oh. _Oh_. I finally drove him off. Edward must have seen the look of despair on my face, because he continued, “I’d like you to come with me.”

            “Is there a reason why you have to go back?”

            “Just some work that needs to be taken care of, nothing for you to worry about.” Edward dropped a quick kiss to the top of my head. “So, will you come with me? At least for a while, before you start back up with work again?”

            “Of course. I don’t really know what I’m doing next. I’ll have Heidi send me some –“

            “You’re making your movie. _Our_ movie,” Edward said very matter-of-factly.

            “No, I’m not.”

            I was not going to do that to him. He would lose what little privacy he had left after word got out we were together.

            “Yes, you are. You’ve done amazing work on it, Bella. It should be shared with the world.”

            “I can’t ask you to share all of your private business with the world. I signed up for that, you didn’t. People send me twenty roles a day, I’ll be fine.”

            Edward pulled me to him, sandwiching me between the banister and his body. His arms rested on the banister on either side of me, and his smirking face looked down at me. “Bella, you were nearly killed because of my job. You making a film about us is hardly equivalent to that. Do you hold the shooting against me?”

            “No, of course not.”

            “So, you’re going to do your job and I’m going to be right next to you, supporting you in any way that I can, because I know you’ll do the same for me.”

            I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his chest. I matched my breathing with his heartbeat. “Vacation has made you very wise.”

            Later that afternoon, things were starting to get back to normal between the two of us. I sat on the couch next to Edward reading a book on my iPad while Edward made our travel arrangements to go back to the states.

            “I should probably visit my parents. I promised my dad I would when we got back.” I mentioned to him. I could feel the tension thicken up the room.

            “I’ll go with you. We can stop there before we head to Chicago.”

            “You don’t have to. I’ll only stay a day or two.”

            “I don’t want you there alone.”

 

…rep…

 

            Edward drove the large Range Rover through the forests of Washington with ease. I looked over at him and couldn’t help but feel incredibly thankful. Despite all of my freak outs, and all of the baggage he knows comes with me, he’s still here. He’s still happily here.

            “Thank you.”

            Edward gave me a quick glance before turning his eyes back on the road. “For what?”

            “For never giving up on me.”

            Edward pulled my hand up to his lips and gave my knuckles a soft kiss. There had been so many bumps in our relationship lately. The movie, the man in the bar, my meltdown in Ireland… and then the fact that my father was a former cop and could recognize Edward for his less than legal business dealings.

            We talked about it on the flight, and Edward told me there was a very good chance Charlie would have heard of him. Even though Charlie retired early about two years ago, he still kept in touch with his cop buddies.

            Edward said they were just rumors to most people, though. If anyone had definitive proof of their dealings they would all be in prison.

            That wasn’t as comforting and I think he meant it to be.

            I had called Charlie before we left Ireland and he was excited to see me for a couple days. When I told him that I was bringing a boyfriend he seemed to tense up a little, but seemed glad either way.

            I had never brought a boy home before. Ever.

            This was entirely new territory for all of us. Especially Edward. He had never met a girls’ parents either. Apparently, he was always the boy girls would hide from their parents.

            Edward also convinced me I should probably tell my parents about the complications I had during my surgery. I knew he was right, it was wrong of me to keep something so big from them, but I needed time to come to terms with it on my own before I told them.

            I hadn’t fully come to terms with it myself, but I was getting there. Kind of.

            It was late when we arrived, nearing midnight. International flights were a bitch on the internal clock, so neither of us were tired at all. I was hoping to make quick conversation with my parents and then fake tiredness and head to bed. I thought small doses of my parents would be a good way to ease Edward into them, especially my mother.

            I didn’t know if I would be quick enough to stop him from shooting her if she said something stupid. I knew he always had a weapon on him… somewhere.

             “It’s a lovely house,” Edward said as he grabbed our luggage out of the car.

            “Thank you,” I replied automatically. He gave me an odd look so I explained, “I bought it.”

            “You bought your parents a house?”

            “I bought them a new place and paid off all of their debt, including my sister’s collage loans,” I shrugged.

            Before Edward could say anything else Charlie came out to greet us. “Bells!”

            Charlie gave me an out of character, enthusiastic hug. I didn’t question it though, I just hugged him just as tight.

            “Dad, this is my boyfriend, Edward Cullen.”

            I watched Charlie’s reaction when I said Edward’s name, but he didn’t give any indication that he knew who he was.

            “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Swan,” Edward said, holding his hand out for Charlie.

            “You taking care of my little girl?” Charlie asked, his eyes narrowed on Edward.

            “As best I can,” Edward said sincerely. His answer must have been enough for Charlie, because he gripped Edward’s hand in a firm shake.

            “Let’s get you two inside, you must be exhausted.” Charlie helped Edward bring in the luggage.

            “Where’s mom?” I asked when we got inside.

            “She fell asleep a while ago. She’ll be excited to see you in the morning, Bells.”

            Figures.

            “I think we’re just going to head to bed. Thanks for waiting up, dad,” I gave him another hug and started to trek up the stairs. I didn’t bother trying to be quiet.

            I turned into the room I usually stayed in and waited for Edward to follow me.

            “Well, uh, goodnight,” Charlie said, shuffling off to his bedroom.

            “Should I sleep –“

            “You should sleep here. I bought the house, they’re hardly in a position to say you can’t sleep in my room. Which, isn’t technically ‘my room.’ My mother loves to call it the guest room.”

            I tossed my shoes in the corner and collapsed on the bed. The days of traveling to get here were starting to take their toll, but I also knew I needed a shower before I could get a good night of sleep.

            “I need a shower,” I grumbled, but burrowed further into the bed. _So comfy_.

            Edward lifted me off of the bed and threw me over his shoulder. It left me with a wonderful view of his ass. He carried me into the adjoining bathroom and set me on the counter.

            He stood between my legs and looked at me. I could feel myself blush at his stare, and distracted myself by lifting his t-shirt over his head. Our clothing was shed one piece at a time and it wasn’t long before we were standing under the hot spray of the shower.

            We took turns washing each other, but nothing ever turned sexual. It hadn’t since the island. Things were just… wrong between us then. I knew my parents’ house wasn’t the place to resume those kinds of activities, but it felt nice to be close to Edward again.

            “I love you,” I told him as he leaned my head back under the spray to rinse out my hair.

            “I love you,” he replied, giving me a slow, passionate kiss that said more than any words ever could.

            I sat on the bed the next morning and waited for Edward to get dressed. I threw on a pair of yoga pants and a cream sweater. Edward was rolling up the sleeves of a dark blue button down when he laughed at me.

            “What?”

            “You shouldn’t be so nervous in your own home.”

            I shrugged. “It’s not really mine.”  

            We walked downstairs hand in hand. My parents were in the kitchen, cooking from the sounds of it.

            “Hey, you two. You sleep okay?” Charlie asked.

            “Yes, thank you,” Edward replied.

            “Mom, this is my boyfriend, Edward,” I told her.

            She looked up from the eggs she was cooking and gave Edward a pleasant smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Edward.” She said.

            Huh. Odd response, but I supposed it could have been worse.

            We all sat down at the table as they finished breakfast. I folded my napkin in my lap and Edward squeezed my thigh comfortingly.

            “So, where did you guys travel?” Charlie asked.

            “We spent a lot of time on a private island. It was beautiful,” I told him. We got into an easy conversation with Charlie about the places we had been. He and Edward talked a lot about Ireland, and Edward told him about his family’s tradition of going there for St. Patrick’s Day every year. I guess they went without him this time.        

            I couldn’t understand my mother. She was never silent like this, she always had something to say about everything. Why had she chosen now to show a little respect?

            After breakfast Edward and I went for a walk around town. Nobody here cared about who I was, I had known most of them since I was a kid, so it was nice to be out and not have to worry about prying eyes.

            I walked him past where I went to high school, even though I hated every minute there. I showed him where we would always have dinner at The Lodge. It was nice to just talk and not worry about anything else.

            We got back home late in the afternoon, and Edward and Charlie bonded over some game on television. I helped my mother in the kitchen, and she was just as quiet as she was earlier.

            It was driving me crazy by the time we sat down to dinner. I knew I should enjoy it, but I couldn’t. _What was her issue?_

            “What are you doing when you get back to Los Angeles, Bells?” Charlie asked me.

            “I’m actually going to Chicago with Edward for a while.”

            My mother huffed. Here we go.

            “What?” I asked her.

            “It just took you finding a man to quit. I would’ve thought nearly dying would have done it.”

            “She’s not quitting.” Edward said, his voice firm. “She’s working on another project, similar to _Badlands_.”

            “That’s great,” Charlie tried to cut in, hoping to dissolve some of the tension I’m sure.

            “Oh, please. You’ve always been desperate for attention, Bella. That’s why you picked up this whole acting thing. Now you have a rich boyfriend to give you attention, so you’re quitting.”

            My stomach dropped. I couldn’t believe this woman was my mother. I couldn’t believe I survived seventeen years living under her care.

            “You know what? Yeah, maybe part of the reason I love my job is because people pay attention to me. Lord knows I never received any from you growing up.”

            “You had a lovely childhood, Bella. Don’t throw that in my face.”

            “Lovely? I had no one! You and Jane were always off together while Charlie was at work and I was all alone.”

            “It was better than what it could have been! You should be grateful we took you in!” Renee shouted at me.

            Took me in? That didn’t make any sense.

            “Renee! That’s enough.” Charlie snapped.

            “No, what does she mean? Took me in?” I looked to my father, desperate for answers. I knew he was the only one who would give them to me.

            Charlie looked so sad. His mustache was practically frowning. “When I was patrolling one night, I found you. You were just a few hours old and someone had just – they left you in a trash can in the park.

            “We never found your parents. We agreed to foster you for a while, but I couldn’t let you get tossed in the system. I knew what happened to kids there.”

            I was frozen. My mind was moving too fast for me to understand any of my thoughts. My heart was beating too fast and my ears were ringing so loud I couldn’t hear anything else.

            “You’re… not my parents.”

            Charlie looked like I had just slapped him across the face. “Biologically, no.”

            “I’ve spent my whole life trying to be good enough for you.” I looked at the woman at the table across from me. “I bought you this goddamn house, paid off all of your debt, I deposit $300,000 into your bank accounts every year. But, no matter what I did, you always hated me. I fucked up your perfect little family, huh? A literal piece of trash you had to bring in and take care of.”

            Charlie reached across the table and tried to grab my hand. “Bella – “

            “Don’t fucking touch me.” I stood up from the table. My head was dizzy but I managed to stay on my feet. “We need to go.” I told Edward.

            He quickly got up and kept a hand around my waist as we went upstairs. I started tossing things into bags, I don’t know what I took or where I put it, but I needed out of here.

            My hands started shaking uncontrollably and my breath began to come in pants. Edward walked over to me and pulled me into him. He cupped the back of my head and held me to his chest. “Just a few more minutes. Just keep it together for a few more minutes and then were gone.”

            Edward grabbed our bags and took them downstairs, and I followed closely behind. They were standing in the foyer in front of the door. She looked happy. Relieved, probably. He looked sad, ashamed. I didn’t care though.

            “Move,” Edward said. His voice was cold and demanding. It wasn’t a voice you disobeyed.

            They got out of his way, and I followed as closely behind him as I could.

            I held it together better than I would have thought I was able to. Tears fell as Edward drove us out of the town I once thought was my home, but it wasn’t a complete breakdown. I was too numb for that.

            Edward held my hand in his while he drove to Seattle. He called and made a hotel reservation, I think, but that was it.

            The hours we spent in the car on the way to Seattle were spent going over every interaction I could remember with my parents, looking for any signs I could find that might have clued me into this sooner. Was I so naïve that I couldn’t even tell my parents weren’t my parents?

            Edward checked us into the hotel and I waited in the car. It was one, almost two in the morning. I wasn’t as tired as I should have been though. I was defeated. Alone.

            I had no one left.

            Edward led me up to the suite he booked for us. It was a luxurious suite, because I noticed a Four Seasons logo as we walked up, but it wasn’t like the one we had in New York City. This one was more simple, smaller.

            I sat on the edge of the bed and just stared at the wall in front of me.

            Edward approached me slowly, and kneeled in front of me. His hands rubbed gently at my thighs, trying to comfort me in any way he could.

            “I don’t have anyone.” I said, my voice cracking slightly.

            “You’ve got me. You’ll always have me.” Edward told me.

            It made me want to cry, but I didn’t think I had any tears left. Edward and I, forever. That was all that mattered.

            I leaned down and kissed him. It was a desperate kiss, full of need; need to be wanted, need to be someone’s priority, need be loved. I slid off of the bed and into Edward’s lap, never breaking our kiss.

            “Bella, we should talk –“

            “No, please. We can talk later. Right now, I just, I need to know you love me.” I was getting dangerously close to losing it again, and I needed Edward to keep me grounded. I needed to know I had him no matter what.

            Edward spent the rest of the night doing exactly that. His body melted with mine over and over again, and the feeling of his skin pressed against mine was the only thing that held me together.

            It was hours later when we finally wore our bodies out. We were a mass of tangled limbs and I didn’t really know where Edward stopped and I began. Our kisses were languid, our bodies too tired to turn them into much more than gentle nips and tugs.

            “I don’t… I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now.” I admitted to Edward.

            Edward’s hand wove through my hair, pushing it out of my face. “You’ll come with me to Chicago. You’ll finish your movie. You’ll live your life for you, not for the approval of Renee or Charlie.“

            It didn’t go unnoticed by me that he didn’t call them my parents. Because they weren’t. I didn’t have parents anymore.

 

…rep…

 

            Alice, Jasper, and Emmett were at Edward’s penthouse when we arrived. We had dinner and talked about our vacation. It was a similar conversation to the one we had with Charlie and Renee just two days ago, but this one didn’t end with my life being turned upside down.

            “So, what are you doing next, Bella?” Alice asked.

            I looked over at Edward and he gave me a nod and a smirk. Okay, then. “I’m actually going to make another visual album, like _Badlands_.”

            “Wow, really?” Jasper asked, his interest piqued. It made me smile.

            “Oh, about you and Edward?” Alice asked and I nodded. “How romantic! Oh, am I in it? Who should play me? Let’s see…”

            “Slow down, Alice. I still need to get a lot of things in order to even see if I can make it happen. I need to meet with Netflix, because this time they’ll actually have to pay me.”

            We had an odd agreement last time, because I had to fund everything myself. After the success of Welcome to the Badlands they did pretty much tell me that if I ever wanted to do another one they were in, but I still needed to get a deal going.

            “So, I guess that means you won’t be here for long then, huh?” Emmett asked. He had come along to dinner, thankfully, because I didn’t have the energy to deal with Rosalie. He said she was at some spa, I think.

            “I have to record the album first, and there are plenty of places to do that here. I just need to convince my producers to take a little vacation to Chicago.”

            Things started to move very fast after that night. I got the green light to make the album from Peter and the label. Some of my favorite producers from before flew in and helped me get started. I spent twelve hours a day for a solid month in the studio, perfecting everything.

            Edward and I had a routine. We would both get up around five, he would shower for work and I would attempt to make us something for breakfast. Edward would leave for work after breakfast and then I would get ready and go to the studio. I would get home around seven, and Edward usually not long after me. He always had food delivered for us.

            We had our own little happy life here, and I loved it. Finishing the album let me keep my mind off of other not-so-pleasant things, and Edward did a good job of distracting me when I wasn’t working.

            I had video conferences whenever I had meetings in Los Angeles, because I couldn’t handle going back there yet. I had signed on the dotted line with Netflix, and the movie was officially in pre-production. Everything was different this time, because I didn’t have to do so much of it myself to save costs.

            I had a team location scouting, I had more set designers and a high end wardrobe team. I had everything I needed.

            Alice actually helped me with casting. We spent a lot of nights watching clips of movies online, looking for the perfect people. I didn’t want a cast full of big names, I wanted to help younger, newer actors get their chance.

            I got to see Jasper and Emmett a lot, too. They were often over late with Edward, discussing things I didn’t want to know about, but they were quickly becoming brothers to me. Emmett had taken to finding old photoshoot shots of me and sticking them up in random spots around the apartment. It was frustrating as hell, but I think it was his way of welcoming me into the family. He was the prankster of the bunch, and it was his way of accepting me.

            Jasper often asked me about the processes behind making a movie. He seemed genuinely interested in it, and we would spend a long time discussing films and certain scenes and how they were created.

            I hadn’t seen Carlisle, Esme, or Rosalie since we had been back. I didn’t mind, though. I was sure Carlisle had turned Esme against me, and I didn’t really feel like dealing with their judgement.

            It was early August by the time I had a finished album in my hands. We were going to start shooting the movie next week. I had as much scheduled to shoot in Chicago as I could, there were some great old warehouses that were easily converted into stages where we could build our own sets. I would have to go to Los Angeles for a few weeks eventually though.

            I got finished early and met Ben at the car around noon. He had been driving me wherever I needed to go. I knew his job was to protect me, but I felt better about just seeing him as a friend driving me wherever I needed.

            “Can you take me to Edward’s office?” I asked him. I had never been to his actual office. I saw it on skype a few times while I was on tour, but that was it. I was too excited, too hopped up on adrenaline at holding the finished music in my hands to go home alone.

            “Of course,” Ben said, and we were off.

            It didn’t take long for him to park right in front of a giant, shiny skyscraper right in the middle of the city. _Wow_. Ben walked with me into the building, and we rode the elevator to the thirtieth floor.

            Everything was pristine. The walls were dark blue, and the desks a stark white. There were people everywhere, frantically working, but I wouldn’t have expected anything less. Edward liked perfection.

            Ben and I walked up to what appeared to be a reception desk, and I took a quick look at myself. I was completely underdressed to be here. The women around me were in smart business attire, and I was in a pair of ripped jeans and a flowy white tank top. The woman behind the front desk didn’t even look up as we approached. 

            “I’m here to see Edward Cullen.” I told her. 

            “Do you have an appointment?” She asked, still not bothering to look up from her computer.

            “No, I -“

            “Then you can’t see him.”

            “Jessica! I told you I needed that information two hours ago. Where the fuck –“

            Edward emerged from his office to yell at the poor girl who seemed to be his secretary. She looked absolutely terrified, and I felt for her. He stopped his yelling when he saw me standing at the front desk.

            “What are you doing here?” he asked, a surprised smile on his face. He looked at the girl he was just yelling at, “Thirty minutes and then I need those files.” He told her.

            She looked at me as soon as he had walked past her and mouthed ‘thank you’ at me. It made me smile.

            “I came to see you, I hope you don’t mind. I don’t have an appointment…”

            “She doesn’t need one.” Edward scolded the receptionist.

            “Of course, sir.”

            Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and tugged me back toward his office. Ben took a seat in the waiting area.

            “What are you doing here?” Edward asked again once we were in the privacy of his office. I was too distracted to answer.

            His office was stunning. Crisp, white walls and a big dark wooden desk took up most of the space. But there was also a sitting area with a couch and coffee table there too. It was bigger than the room I grew up in.

            “Wow, this is beautiful,” I told him, walking over to run my hands along his desk.

            Edward came up and pinned me between the desk and his body. His lips attached themselves to my neck and it took everything in me not to moan.

            “This isn’t… I didn’t come here for this.” I breathed out as one of his hands started to travel toward my shorts.

            Edward sighed, but smiled down at me.

            I pulled the jewel case out of my purse and handed it to him. “I finished. I wanted you to be the first to listen. You don’t have to do it now, I know you’re busy. I just wanted you to have it.” My words started coming out too fast. I didn’t realize how nervous I would be to have Edward listen to the album. All of these songs were about us. How we met… how we fell in love. It was terrifying.

            Edward carefully took the case from my hands and studied the track list written on the back. He looked at me with a mischievous smile. “Let’s go.”

            “What?”

            Edward grabbed a few things off of his desk and pulled me to the door. “Let’s go.”

            “Where are we going?” I asked him. He just tugged me out of his office.

            “I’ll be back tomorrow morning.” He told his secretary as we passed. She looked incredibly relieved.

            I got an odd glare from the receptionist before the elevator doors closed around us. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going now? I didn’t mean to take you from work, I just wanted to tell you –“

            Edward interrupted me with a firery but quick kiss. We reached the underground garage and he pulled me toward his black car. I immediately started to go to the passenger side, but Edward led me to the other side of the car. “You drive.”

            “Me?”

            “I’ll need to focus on this. I’ll tell you where to go, just get in.”

            I unlocked the car and got myself situated in the tiny space. I had driven sports cars before, but I knew this car was expensive as hell. I didn’t want to get a scratch on it, so I spent a while figuring out how everything worked.

            Edward laughed at my nervousness. “You’ll be fine. _Drive_.”

            So, I did. I drove Edward and I out of the city, and Edward navigated us to some deserted back roads. We only passed a car or two out here. It was very peaceful. Once we were out of the city Edward put the CD in and turned the volume up practically as high as it would go.

            I wanted to watch his face as he listened, but I had to focus on the road in front of me. Every time I peeked over, he had his head resting back and his eyes closed, a soft smile on his lips.

            We had been driving through deserted roads for about an hour before the album was over. Once the last song ended, Edward told me to pull over.

            Edward moved his seat back as far as it could go, which wasn’t very far. He pulled my arm and I knew what he wanted. It took me some maneuvering, but I managed to get myself situated in his lap.

            “That was… fucking amazing, Bella. Shit, I lived through it and you just… made it sound like it felt.”

            “Are you sure you’re okay with this? Just say the word and I won’t…”

            “I’m fine. I’m very proud of you.” He told me with his voice, and his eyes. He looked at me like I was the most magnificent thing, the most extravagant treasure.

 

…rep…

 

            Filming was going almost too smoothly. It felt good to get back to what I truly loved. There was nothing like the thrill of hearing _action_ and completely transforming into someone else. Although, there wasn’t much transforming for this one for me. It was still a high, though.

            Even though we were both busy, Edward and I were as solid as ever. Flowers would be waiting for me nearly once a week in my dressing room. We were good about making sure we still had time to see each other, even if that just meant collapsing into bed and talking for thirty minutes before we fell asleep.

            I had never felt as connected with someone. I knew, one hundred percent, that I could rely on Edward for anything. I could go to him and tell him I murdered someone and he would help me clean up my mess. Of course, that was kind of his job I think, but still.

            We would do anything for each other. It was an amazing feeling, knowing I had that kind of companionship in my life.

            Today was my birthday, but I decided to treat it like any other day. I didn’t think my birth was much to celebrate. My actual parents, whoever they may be, weren’t excited about it. The woman who was supposed to be my mother was never excited about it. Charlie tried his hardest, but who knew if any of that was real?

            I told Edward I didn’t want to do anything. I just hoped he listened.

            I was already in a bad mood when I woke up. I had a four am call time, so I was awake before Edward for once. I got ready as quietly as possible, but when I exited the bathroom Edward was sitting up in bed.

            “Hey,” I whispered. Something about it being three in the morning made me feel like I needed to whisper.

            “I know you don’t want to –“

            “I don’t.”

            Edward sighed. I knew he loved giving me presents, but I didn’t want anything to celebrate this day. He got up from bed and kissed me gently. “Have a good day.”

            I didn’t. Everything that could go wrong, did. Nothing felt right. Everything seemed forced and unnatural and I hated every take we did. It wasn’t just me, everyone seemed off. Maybe it was just because I was in such a bad mood.

            I got home around six and all I wanted was some greasy food and Edward. I threw my bag on the front table. “Edward?” I shouted.

            There was no answer. Figured.

            When I went to the kitchen for a glass of water, a note was popped up on the center of the island.

_Clothes are waiting for you in our room. Ben will bring you to me at seven._

            Edward’s elegant script was printed across the paper. I wanted to be upset with him, but I couldn’t. He just wanted me to have a special day, so I did what the note said.

            The dress waiting for me was deep maroon. The front stopped around my knees, and gradually flowed to the ground as it wrapped around my legs. The layers of fabric flowed easily. Once I was dressed I slipped on a pair of nude heels that wrapped up my ankle. I fastened the bracelet that Edward got me for my birthday last year around my wrist and went to wait for Ben.

            He was on time, of course, and we were quickly off to our unknown destination. I was starting to really learn my way around the city, but we weren’t going anywhere that I recognized.

            The car stopped and Ben helped me out. I still had no clue where I was. A fancy hotel was in front of me. Did he get us another suite? I could go for trashing another suite. It might help my mood.

            Ben led me through the front door and the lobby was surprisingly empty. There wasn’t even anyone at the front desk. _Weird_.

            Ben stopped at a pair of double doors and held it open for me. I gave him a questioning look, but he just shrugged. No clues for me, then.

            I walked into a large ballroom. It seemed vaguely familiar. There was a single table sitting in the middle of the room, and the marble floor was covered in what had to be thousands of deep red rose petals.

            Assuming my spot was one of the two chairs at the empty table, I made my way over to it. My heels echoed loudly in the empty room.

            I sat at the table and looked around. I felt like I was missing some kind of clue. The doors opened again and Edward was there. He was in an impeccable black suit. _God, he’s gorgeous_.

            He walked over to me, his eyes never leaving mine once. As he approached I had a flash of him doing this exact same thing, but the room was more crowded and Emmett was by his side. _This was where the police benefit was. This was where we met_.

            Edward sat in the chair next to me gracefully. “You look beautiful.”

            “Thank you for the dress,” I told him, playing with the hem.

            He grabbed my nervous hands and wrapped them in his. “I’d give you anything you could ever want.”

            I smiled at him, because I knew it was true.

            Edward took a deep breath before he started speaking. “I knew you wouldn’t like your birthday. I know your upbringing wasn’t great, and I know it’s even harder to think about now. But, to me, today is the most important day of the year. I couldn’t let it go by without celebrating.”

            Oh, please don’t let people pop out and shout surprise.

            “I was hoping I could erase all of the bad memories, and maybe make a few better ones.”

            Edward pushed his chair back and kneeled at my feet.

            _Oh_.

            _Oh_.

            _Oh_.

            My eyes got wide, and could swear Edward could hear my heart pounding in my chest.

            “I love you. I love your drive and passion, and I love the way your nose scrunches up when you laugh. I could list a thousand things I love about you, but I know you’d hate it. Just know that no one has ever loved anyone as completely as I love you, Bella Swan.”

            Edward reached into his coat pocket. He pulled out a shiny black box and my heart stopped.

            “Will you marry me?”

            I think he opened the box, but my eyes were glued to his face. He looked adorably nervous. But the sincerity of his words was evident on his face. There was no way I would ever refuse him.

            “ _Yes_.”

            His smile was blinding, and I was sure I had a matching one on my face. He was on his feet and had me wrapped in his arms within a second. I was going to have his arms wrapped around me for the rest of my life.

            I was going to be Mrs. Edward Cullen.


	5. King Of My Heart

_Late in the night, the city’s asleep. Your love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep. Change my priorities, the taste of your lips is my idea of luxury. ~ Taylor Swift, **King Of My Heart**_

…rep…

 

            I was never one of those girls who had their whole wedding planned by the time they were ten. I never imagined myself in a big white dress walking down the aisle toward my prince charming. I didn’t have centerpieces picked out, and I didn’t know what song my first dance would be to. I think I was just too scared to imagine those things, because I was afraid they would never happen for me.

            The fear of never finding someone to spend my life with, the fear of constant loneliness kept me from ever thinking about a wedding.

            But things have changed a lot since then.

            The room around me was a mess. My dress was hanging off of the dresser, and parts of Edward’s suit were scattered across the floor. We were in such a frenzy when we got in last night, that I didn’t even remember how the clothes got off, just that once we were skin to skin everything felt right.

            Now, everything just felt sore. But in a good way.

            I lay tucked into Edward’s bed, only the sheet left to cover us. Looking down at my left hand, I inspected the new ring on my finger. I held my hand up at every possible angle and watched as the small bit of light from the window reflected off of it.

            The oval diamond in the center of the ring was just… massive. It had a halo of smaller diamonds surrounding it that made it look even bigger than it already was. It took up nearly the whole top of my finger. The band had two smaller strips of diamonds intertwining around my finger.

            I knew some people would probably consider it gaudy or over the top, but I loved it. I loved the weight of it on my hand and how it reminded me of Edward every time I felt it. I loved the way it sparkled in the sun. I loved what it represented.

            Quiet chuckles brought me out of my ring-induced fantasy. _Busted_.

            “Do you like it?” Edward asked me. He sleepily rolled over and nearly squished me with his weight. Most of his body was now covering mine as his arm wrapped around me.

            “I love it.” I told him sincerely. I placed my left hand on his chest, just wanting to feel his skin under mine, but I got distracted by the pretty diamond against his skin.

            Edward’s lips surprised mine in a quick kiss, distracting me from my ring. He hovered over me, his forehead resting against mine and his hips grinding his cock against where I wanted him most.

            “I don’t want a long engagement.” I breathed out as he easily slid inside my slick folds. I was sore, but it didn’t take much to make me want him again. It never did.

            His thrusts were slow, but deep. His lips matching his pace against mine. My arms wrapped around his back, holding him to me with all of my strength.

            “I want you to be my husband,” I whispered against his lips. He didn’t respond verbally, but I knew he heard me. His hips faltered slightly, but then recovered with a sharper, harder thrust.

            “I want to be your wife.” I told him. He groaned against my lips and his hips began a frantic pace.

            Edward’s lips moved to my neck and began nipping at my skin. His hands grabbed whatever skin they could reach; my arms, my breasts, my ass, everything was fair game.

            Just a few hard thrusts later every muscle in my body clenched around him, and I could feel Edward’s tense with his release as well.

            It was much later that afternoon when we finally got out of bed. Neither of us had to work today; Edward usually tried to take off days he knew I was free, because I was typically filming seven days a week. I had today off because I was going to Los Angeles tomorrow for two weeks.

            Neither of us were very happy about it.

            “Does anyone know?” I asked Edward as he carried two cups of coffee over to me on the couch. I took the cup from him carefully, and smiled at the small clink my ring made as it hit the mug. _We’re engaged_.

             “Not that it happened. I asked Charlie for your hand before our last night there.”

            That made me sigh. _Charlie_. I didn’t have a lot of free time lately, but he had been nagging at me in the back of my mind. He tried to call me once a week, but I never answered. Jane had also tried to call me a few times, but I ignored her, too.

            I knew I was probably being petty, but a lifetime of lies was a lot to come to terms with. I would have to deal with that whole mess sooner or later, but not today. Today was about celebrating.

            “I meant what I said before,” I told Edward, smiling over at him as he read the newspaper next to me.

            “Which was?”

            “That I don’t want to wait a long time. I don’t want a big, fancy wedding in front of five hundred people. Just close family and maybe a few friends.”

            The more I thought about it, the more I realized I had no clue how to plan a wedding. Centerpieces, menus, guest lists… God, that sounded like a lot of work.

            Edward must have been able to see the panic start to invade. “I’m sure Alice would love nothing more than to help plan.” He offered. Yes, Alice would know what to do.

            The mention of Alice brought his family to my mind. “Your family doesn’t like me.”

            Edward sighed. “They don’t dislike you, Bella. They just would have preferred I marry a woman who would make better business sense than one I actually loved.”

            “But, Carlisle...”

            “Carlisle is getting old and paranoid. He’s not going to be in charge forever, and I’ll be taking over for him. He had a fantasy of joining forces with Volturi. It was a weak move, though. I never supported him with it and he was bitter and took that out on you.”

            “So, did they try to set you up with someone else? Once they knew we were together?”

            “Just once. I put an end to it.”

            I frowned. I didn’t like that.

            “I’ve talked to him about you since we’ve been back. He realizes that you’re not going anywhere, and that he needs to treat you with respect. He thought he still had a chance of getting between us, that’s why he tried to push so many buttons.”

            I didn’t know what to make of that. Carlisle said some horrible things to me that day in New York City. But I supposed they made sense if he wanted Edward to be part of a bigger deal. It was fucked up, putting a ‘business’ deal in front of your own son’s happiness. But a lot about the way the Cullen’s did things was fucked up.

            “What about the whole, uh, children thing?” I asked.

            “I’m not the only Cullen who can continue on the line. I know Em and Rose plan on having children. There will be plenty of kids to pass on the business to.”

            “But aren’t you –“

            Edward shook his head. “It doesn’t matter, Bella.”

            “I’m sorry.” It felt like my fault. It was like I was defective. I should be able to give him children.

            “There’s nothing to be sorry for, Bella.” His words were sincere and final. I knew he hated me apologizing for something that was out of my control, but I couldn’t help it.

“So, I guess we should tell your family then?”

            Edward smiled. “Yes, we should.”

            I was still getting dressed when everyone arrived later that night. I quickly pulled on a burgundy sweater and dark jeans and called it a day. I looked down at my hand for the millionth time today and smiled. I took a deep breath and went downstairs to greet everyone. _Here we go._  

            Alice, Jasper, and Emmett all greeted me with smiles and quick hugs. Rosalie was here, and gave me an odd, forced smile. That was new. Carlisle, surprisingly, gave me what seemed to be a genuine smile. Esme did the same.

            Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

             Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and led me to the dining room. Everyone sat, and as I was about to do the same, Edward pulled me into his side.

            “Bella and I have some news to share.” Edward said.

            Okay, so we were doing this now. Despite what Edward said earlier, I still didn’t think Carlisle would be okay with this. I was hoping to have a drink or two before we got into a family fight.

            “We’re engaged.” Edward said simply.

            Alice squealed, Emmett clapped, and Esme came over and immediately wrapped me up in a hug.

            “Oh, congratulations!” I wasn’t sure who said it, but I appreciated it.

            It was surreal to actually have other people know. I was engaged to Edward Cullen. I was getting _married_.

            It was a mess of hugs and congratulations for a while. Alice and Esme were already planning, but it sounded much bigger than I wanted it to be. I would have to shut that down after dinner. Edward was pulled into conversation with Emmett and Jasper, and Carlisle approached me.

            “Could I speak to you for a moment, Bella?” He asked. He didn’t seem the same as he did the last time I saw him. He was calmer, kinder even.

            I didn’t know if I could trust his mood would last, but I agreed to his request.

            We went to the kitchen and I stood on the other side of the island. I figured keeping that between us was a safe bet.

            “I’d like to apologize to you. I said some inexcusable things the last time I saw you.”

            I huffed. “Yes, you did.”

            “Ah, you are perfect for him, aren’t you?” Carlisle chuckled to himself. “I have a very stressful job, Bella. Sometimes I can take things too far, a trait I’m afraid Edward has inherited as well. But, I was out of line to try to interfere in your relationship.

            “If you’re the woman my son has chosen, then I respect that.”

            He seemed incredibly sincere. I was good at reading people, it was my job. I spent hours studying people acting, I could tell when someone was lying. And Carlisle was either being truthful, or was a phenomenal actor.

            “Thank you.” I said sincerely. I could forgive what he did in the past, but I sure as hell would never forget it. A man who can so easily whip a gun out and point it at his sons girlfriend isn’t one you ever trust completely.

            “You’re a very strong woman. I had a gun pointed at your head and you didn’t flinch.”

            I barked out a laugh. I wasn’t expecting that. “Or stupid.”

            “You’re not stupid. I’ve done my research, and I was surprised to see what a stellar businesswoman you are.”

            I just shrugged. Business smarts were necessary in this industry. I didn’t just read lines off of a paper. I had to deal with people and big corporations, I had to make deals worth millions of dollars. Yes, I had professionals help me with a lot of those deals, but I also made sure to be part of every negotiation and meeting. I wanted to know what I was getting into.

            Edward walked in then, and eyed his father warily. “Everything okay?” He asked me.

            I smiled at him, letting him know I was okay. “Yes, everything’s fine.”

            “Alice and Esme want to talk with you before dinner. I believe they’re almost done planning the whole wedding.”

            I hoped so. The less I had to do with that the better. I gave Edward a kiss on his cheek and went to go find them. They were huddled around the table, all of the food around them forgotten, and scrolling through their phones.

            “Bella! We could do an old Hollywood theme! You would look amazing in – “

            “Hold on. Before we get too far into this I have some ground rules. One, I would love you to help me plan, or plan most of it if you’re willing. I don’t have a lot of time right now, but I don’t want a long engagement. I’d like to be married by the end of the year.” Alice’s eyes nearly bugged out of her head when I mentioned she only had three months to play. It seemed like plenty of time to me. “Two, I want a small wedding, and Edward agreed. Just our closest family and friends.”

            Alice took a deep breath before she started to talk again. “Okay, I can do that. I’ll plan everything, of course. A New Year’s Eve wedding would be so romantic! You’re going to Los Angeles tomorrow, right? Is there a specific designer you want to do your dress? Three months isn’t a long time, but I’m sure you have some connections…”

            “I can take care of the dress while I’m in LA. I’ll send you pictures of the sketches so you can help me choose.”

            Maybe this wedding planning thing wasn’t going to be too bad.

            Dinner was spent talking about the wedding for the most part. Rosalie surprisingly offered up her opinion on a few things, and Edward seemed excited about the idea of a New Year’s Eve wedding.

            Carlisle and Esme took Alice and Rosalie home after dinner. Edward had some business to discuss with Emmett and Jasper. I didn’t ask any questions.

            I left the boys alone in Edward’s office and I went to get packed up for tomorrow. I didn’t need to pack too much, I still had a full wardrobe at my house in Los Angeles. I guess I should start bringing some stuff here.

            Are we going to live in Chicago? Probably, Edward needed to be here. That was okay, though. I was starting to really like the area, and it was a nice change of pace from Los Angeles. It still had a good, big city feel, but it wasn’t as hectic.

            By the time I was all ready for tomorrow it was nearing midnight. I walked down to Edward’s office to say goodnight to him. I knocked lightly on the door, and heard Edward tell me to come in.

            “Everything okay?” He asked. I noticed him covering up some papers on his desk and I had to resist the urge to roll my eyes at him.

            “I just wanted to say goodnight.” I walked over to him, past Emmett and Jasper who were sitting across from Edward at his desk. He gave me a crooked smile when I leaned down to give him a quick kiss.

            I caught the words _California International – Los Angeles_ on one of the papers on Edward’s desk. It also looked like there were blueprints. Shit.

            The words were out of my mouth before I could think them through. “Are you robbing my bank?”

            Three pairs of eyes snapped to me.

            “What do you have there?” Edward asked, his eyes narrow and his voice serious.

            “I have a few safety deposit boxes.” I shrugged. “It’s supposed to be one of the most secure banks in the world. _Please_ don’t get arrested robbing a bank.”

            “You have safety deposit boxes there? Shit, that makes it almost too easy!” Jasper shouted, an interesting gleam in his eyes. He enjoyed this too much.

            “You went through the whole finger print and retinal scan process?” Emmett asked me.

            “Yeah, it’s how I get to the boxes.”

            “Shit. We have a way better chance at hacking the system and adding her name to the box than adding us into the system.”

            I leaned against Edward’s desk and crossed my arms over my chest. “What are you trying to get?”

            “Aro just moved something in there. I don’t know what it is, but I want it. You’re not doing anything, though.” Edward’s voice was harsh and final. He gave his brothers a look that said the conversation was over. No one ever disobeyed that look. Except me.

            I looked to Jasper. “What would I have to do?”

            He hesitated for a moment, but eventually gave in. “All you would have to do is go in and say you want to empty one of your boxes. It’s box 1290C. I can get into the system and assign that box under your name. They already have your security information online. Just go in like you were checking any of your other boxes.”

            “You’re not doing it, Bella. It’s illegal. Go to bed, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

            I sighed and leaned down to kiss the top of Edward’s head, through his mess of bronze hair. Then I looked at Jasper and nodded.

            I could do that.

 

…rep…

 

            My first week back in Los Angeles was jam packed. I filmed for about fourteen hours a day, and then I had other meetings to get through as well.

            I met with Elie, one of my favorite fashion designers. She had only really started to gain popularity the past year or so, but I started wearing her at my first movie premiere. She was excited to help me, despite my time crunch. She said she would send me a few sketches within the week and I could choose from those.

            I also had to meet with some executives with Netflix to discuss the project. They were already planning a media circus to revolve around the release, but I shot that down pretty quickly.

            I was going to change the way I did things this time around. Everything was going to be on my terms. It was a tense three hours, arguing with five men twice my age, but eventually I won them over with Heidi and Claire’s help.

            I had only been able to talk to Edward a few times since I got here, and it was putting me in an awful mood. I missed my fiancé. _Fiancé, I loved that_.

            It didn’t help that, for the past three days, I had to make out with Noah Carter, the man I had casted as Edward in the film. We were on to the dreaded sex scenes and I hated them. They were awkward and uncomfortable, but necessary. The film was about Edward and I, so passion was a must.

            Edward knew they were in there, but he told me he didn’t want to hear about them.

            I had a robe wrapped around me and was watching a playback of the scene we had just shot. It was one in the morning and we were all exhausted, but this was our last shot for the day. I still wasn’t completely happy with it though.

            “Just one more, I think.” I told everyone, and we began to reset the scene.

            “So, I finally get to see the talented Isabella Swan at work, huh?”

            I whipped my head around so fast I got a bit of a head rush. There, behind me, was the real Edward. My Edward.

            “What are you doing here?” I asked him. I didn’t let him answer before I crashed into him and covered his lips with mine.

            “I managed to get forty-eight free hours and they all belong to you.” Edward told me with a smirk. _God, I missed him._

            “Three minutes!” Someone from behind us shouted.

            Shit. Sex scene. With Edward here. _Shit_.

            “Um, so you’re staying?” I asked, suddenly incredibly nervous.

            Edward looked a little hurt, and it made me feel terrible. “Is that okay?”

            “Of course. It’s just – this probably isn’t the kind of scene you want to see filmed.”

            Edward furrowed his brows for a moment and then his face lost all traces of emotion. _There it is_.

            “I’ll be fine. You get to work and I’ll take you home when you’re done.” His words were comforting but I could feel the tension in his body. I didn’t have time to talk about it, though.

            I went back to my cue and cleared my mind. Noah walked over and we waited.

            There was no dialogue for us to do, just visuals. I wanted some close ups of hands roaming and such. Pretty simple, unless your possessive fiancé was watching from a few feet away.

            “Action!”

            Noah approached and slid his hands around my waist, his lips covering mine. They were just pecks, we never did anything more when filming.

            He pushed me back on the bed behind me and pulled my shirt over my head. My bra, thankfully, stayed on for this scene. I don’t think Edward could have handled seeing more than some heavy petting.

            Hands roamed for a few more moments before we were done. We only shot for about two minutes, but it seemed to drag on forever.

            Kate hurried over and covered me in a fluffy robe.

            “I didn’t know you were shooting this tonight. I would have warned him before I got him in.” She whispered to me. Of course, she got Edward on set.

            “It’s okay. Tomorrow is tame.” He would enjoy that much more, I hoped.

            I wandered over to Edward and took his hand. His eyes were intense, and his body rigid. I reached up on my toes to kiss his cheek.

            “I just need to change and then we can go home.”

            The ride home was tense to say the least. I rode with Edward in his rental car, a large SUV, and I could practically feel electricity sparking around us.

            We got home not much later, after the silent car ride. We walked in, hand in hand, and I looked up at him when we were in the safety of my home.

            “Are you –“

            “Bedroom.” His voice was stern, so I did as he said. I knew it was wrong, but I was excited for the aftermath of his tension if he was taking it out in the bedroom. I made my way upstairs quickly.

            I stood in the middle of my room, suddenly nervous. He wasn’t actually upset, was he?

            Edward approached me and took my left hand in his. He traced his thumb over my empty ring finger, and his eyes bore into mine.

            I used my right hand to pull the chain out of my t-shirt. I had put my ring around my neck while I was here. There were too many prying eyes around, but I always wanted it close.

            Edward dropped my hand and unclasped the necklace. He let the ring fall into his hand and gently sild it back on my finger.

            He placed his hands on my hips then, and started to ease me back. When my legs hit the edge of the bed, Edward lifted me by my thighs quickly and threw me onto the mattress. I landed with a little yelp.

            His body was immediately covering mine. His lips devoured my own, his tongue staking his claim as it invaded my mouth and melded with mine.

            Edward sat up over me, his legs on either side of my hips pinning me down. He tore my shirt over my head and tossed it to the side, then quickly disposed of my bra. He was hovering over me again, his lips exploring all of the skin he just exposed.

            I started tugging at the tie around his neck, but he quickly tore my hands from him and pinned them above me. _Shit, that was hot_.

            His eyes were wild, and his hands were frantic. Edward kissed his way across my breasts, sucking on each nipple in turn. When one of my hands reached down to hold his head to me he bit down sharply. I screamed out in a mixture of pleasure and pain. He released my nipple with a pop and put my hand back above my head.

            Edward sat up above me again and began loosening his tie. Once he had it free from his neck he pulled both of my hands to him, and wrapped his tie quickly around my wrists. His eyes met mine for a few seconds before it was completely tightened, and I gave him a small nod.

            He would never do something like that if I didn’t want it.

            Edward threw my bound hands back above my head and I tested out my new bindings. It was tight, but not uncomfortable. The tie was soft and silky.

            “You’re mine, Bella.” Edward whispered against my stomach. His lips roamed and licked, and his hands skimmed and squeezed. He licked along the tattoo covering my side, and spent ample time kissing the muted scar on my abdomen.

            I squeezed my thighs together, trying to get any kind of minute relief. Edward noticed, though, and placed himself between my legs so my thighs couldn’t meet.

            “This is mine, too. Every orgasm is mine to coax out of you. Every sound you make is for me.” He cupped my pussy through my shorts and I nearly exploded then and there.

            Edward pulled my shorts and panties down together. “Jesus, I can _smell_ you.” He trailed two fingers lightly along my slick folds, but never entered me. He leaned down and placed one long lick along the entire length of me, but nothing more.

            My moan was a mix of a moan and a scream, because then he was gone from the bed.           

            Edward stood at the foot of the bed and stared at me, naked and tied up. He removed his clothing, but took his time doing so. He didn’t seem to be in a hurry, but I was.

            I wanted to try and free my hands, and I wanted to throw him on the bed to have my way with him. But, I was also eager to see how the rest of this would play out. Because this jealous, possessive Edward was here to play and I wanted to know what he had in store for me.

            Once he was naked, Edward stroked his cock for a few moments while he stared at me and fuck if that wasn’t one of the hottest things I had ever seen. He grabbed each of my legs and pulled me closer to him. He hooked my legs over his arms and spread me wide open for him. His cock slid easily inside, and Edward immediately set a punishing pace.

            His hips slammed into mine so fast I could hardly breathe. The sounds of sex filled the room; slapping skin and erotic moans bounced off the walls.

            “No one else, Bella. Never anyone else,” he grunted out between thrusts. His eyes were focused intently on me; my eyes, my breasts as they rocked with each of his movements. He spent the longest time staring at where we were continually joined together.

            “Never.”

            I was there. Seconds away from what I could tell was going to be one of the most intense orgasms of my life, and Edward pulled out just before I could reach it.

            “No!” I shouted, but he didn’t respond. I was flipped over, and Edward pulled my knees up beneath me.

            He got on the bed behind me and gripped my hips in his hands. He set a slower pace this time, and all I could do was grip the sheets between my bound hands and beg for more. When I tried to push myself back into him, he tightened his grip on my hips to keep me still.

            His pace started to pick up and my begs turned to loud moans again. One of his hands released my hip to gently massage the flesh of my ass, just seconds before it slapped down on the tender skin.

            “Shit,” I mumbled under my breath.

            “That’s it, baby,” Edward muttered. My entire body felt like a live wire and I knew I couldn’t hold it off any longer. “Come for me, Bella.”

            I was right. It was the most intense orgasm I had ever had.

            We both stayed in our relative positions for a few minutes. I, quite literally, couldn’t feel any of my limbs and had no choice. Eventually Edward got me situated at the head of the bed. He untied my hands with a smirk.

            I sided up to Edward when he got into bed beside me and laid my head on his chest. “I’m glad you’re here.”

            Edward trailed his fingers lightly along the skin of my arm and hummed. “Me, too.”

            “Should I start moving more of my stuff to Chicago? That’s where we’ll be most of the time, right?” I asked out of the blue. It had been on my mind since the night after we got engaged.

            “Are you okay with that? I know you have a life here.”

            I just shrugged, as well as I could with Edward wrapped around me. “I like it there. I’ll probably keep this place, because I’ll have to be here for work a lot, but Chicago will be my new home base.”

            Edward was quiet for a few moments before speaking again. “I have a confession.”

            Uh oh. “What did you do?”

            “Nothing bad. I just built us a house.”

            My eyebrows shot up and I pulled away from Edward slightly so I could get a better look at him. “Built us a house? Where?”

            “A little ways outside of the city. I’ve had the plot of land for a while. It’s in a gated community, but the houses are acres apart. We’ll have our privacy.”

            Huh. I was expecting something along the lines of ‘I accidently killed someone’ not that he built us a house. “When did you start building a house?”

            “Right when we got back from vacation.”

            Shit. That was four months ago. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

            Edward just shrugged. He brushed some of my hair out of my face with a smile. “I didn’t want to scare you off.”

            That made me laugh. “If I didn’t run when you told me you were some mafia prince I definitely wouldn’t have run when you said you were building us a house.”

            “Yes, you are always stronger than I give you credit for.”

            I blushed at that, and Edward ran his fingers lightly over my pink cheeks. “Oh, I almost forgot!”

            I jumped out of bed, nearly tripping because my limbs were still a little bit like jelly, and grabbed the three boxes that were sitting in my closet.

            Edward sat up in bed and I set them between us. I pulled a blanket around my shoulders, something that Edward huffed at, and pulled one of the boxes in my lap.

            “I wanted to wait until I was with you to open them.”

            “What are they?” Edward asked.

            “Grammys.”

           

…rep…

 

            Having Edward on set was surprisingly fun. He would ask me questions between takes about what we were doing, and how I remembered everything. It was kind of adorable.

            Part of me wished I didn’t have to work so I could have spent more of the day with him, but I also knew he enjoyed his time on set with me. He had to leave the next afternoon and all I wanted was to spend the day locked inside with him.

            The days started to drag after he went back to Chicago.  Set life was suddenly boring without Edward there, and all I wanted was to get back home. Los Angeles wasn’t my home anymore.

            It was surprisingly freeing to realize that. I was excited to start this new chapter of my life.

            I was finally heading back later tonight, but I had one stop to make before going to the airport. California International Bank.

            Jasper called me last night and told me everything was set up. Box 1290C was officially under my name, and I had called and made an appointment to empty it this afternoon.

            I walked into the bank and was met with marble floors and glass chandeliers. I had been here a few times before, but it was still as extravagant as ever. I kept some important documents and such in my boxes here, and Charlie always told me to check on them every once in a while.

            That’s not what I was doing today, though.

            I was immediately ushered to a back room where a manager named Sue started the process of getting me checked in. They did the retina scan, and checked my fingerprint before asking me which of my boxes I wanted to empty.

            Jesus, what if Jasper didn’t do something right and I was about to ask for a box that wasn’t mine? That hast to be a major red flag to these people.

            I kept my face calm and polite despite my inner worries. ”1290C, please.”

            “Of course, Ms. Swan. I’ll be right back with that.”

            I exhaled loudly the second she was gone. The hardest part was over. I just had to get whatever was in the box out of here and I was fine. Everything was fine.

            She brought me the box a few minutes later and stood back, giving me a bit of privacy.

            I lifted the heavy metal lid and saw a single manila envelope. I looked inside, because that was what someone would do, right? Check to make sure everything was there.

            There was a single picture inside of a woman placing a baby in a trash can.

           

…rep…

 

            I knew Emmett and Jasper would be at Edward’s when I got back. They both knew what I had done, and Edward was the only one in the dark.

            He was going to be pissed. Beyond pissed, probably. But if I could get it done easier and save my fiancé the possibility of getting arrested doing something stupid, I was going to do it.

            I spent the whole flight, on Edward’s jet, of course, staring at the picture. It was black and white and grainy, but I knew what it was. That was me. The woman, or girl really, she was probably sixteen or seventeen. She was my biological mother.

            I was furious.

            For one, I didn’t know why, or how, Aro had this picture. Edward told me after the hit went wrong Aro called it off. He got his point across, that he could get to me if he wanted, and was fine with that for now.

            Second, the longer I stared at the girl in the picture, the angrier I got. Not at Volturi or the situation, but at her. I didn’t have a single maternal instinct in my body, but I would never dump my child, or anyone’s child, in a fucking trash can.

            I stayed on the plane for a while once we landed. I had brought over some things from my Los Angeles place. I figured I could make little trips here and there and bring my stuff over. Edward told me he had people to do that, but there were some things I didn’t trust other people bringing over.

            My awards, for one thing. I had some clothes and trophies packed up, and I could see men loading them into a black SUV outside the window.

            I started to get more nervous the closer I got to Edward. He was going to be furious, I knew it. I should have just called him this morning and told him what I was doing. It’s not like he could have stopped me from Chicago.

            I took a deep breath when the car stopped. I triple checked that the file was in my tote bag and got out. I knew better than to try and carry up any of my luggage, so I went straight to the elevator.

            When I reached Edward’s floor, I could hear him shouting at someone, probably Emmett and Jasper, from inside.

            “Get the fuck out. Why are you both still here? Bella’s going to be here soon and I don’t want –“

            They were coming down the stairs in a herd, and Edward stopped his ranting when he saw me in the living room.

            “Hey,” I said. I may have been nervous as hell, but seeing him after a week-long separation still made me smile.

            Edward approached me quickly and captured my lips with his. I wanted to revel in the sensation of his lips and tongue melding with mine, but I couldn’t. Not yet.

            I pulled away and Edward frowned.

            Reaching into my bag, I pulled out the manila envelope.

            “What is this?” Edward asked. He opened the envelope and I knew he would realize what he was looking at.

            “Where did you get this?” His voice was serious now, he was in work mode.

            “Safety deposit box 1290C at California International.”  
            “Shit. _Shit, Bella_.” He dropped the file on the table and ran his fingers through his hair. He started pacing the room, and I sat on a plush chair to wait for my scolding.

            Jasper and Emmett walked over to look at the file, but they didn’t understand what the picture was.

            “Do you know how fucking stupid that was? It was illegal for one. If anyone found out you could be arrested.”

            “You do things that could get you arrested all of the time.” I replied.

            “What on earth makes you think that’s an okay excuse? I’m not taking those kinds of risks with you.”

            “We wiped all traces of her there, Edward. Security camera’s, online files, she’s clean.” Jasper said.

            Edward turned on him, his eyes glowing with rage. “You put my fiancé in an inconceivable amount of danger. If you go behind my back again I will kill you.”

            There was no denying the threat of his words. You would think that a threat between brothers would be empty, but I knew Edward’s wasn’t. He always followed through.

            “We did what we had to do, Edward. We needed to see what was in the box. You’re ignoring the fact that everything went fine. Now we need to figure out what the fuck this picture means.” Emmett held up the photo.

            “Get out.” Edward said, but I ignored him. They were going to find out eventually.

            “It’s me.”

            Both of their eyes went comically wide. “You have a kid?” Emmett asked.

            “What? No. I’m the baby in the picture.”

            “Oh. _Oh_.” They both said, nearly in unison.

            “Charlie and Renee, the parents I grew up with, aren’t really my parents. I just found out a few months ago.”

            “ _Shit_. And Volturi knows. What’s his motive, though?”

            “Get the fuck out of my house!” Edward shouted angrily.

            Emmett and Jasper didn’t ignore him this time. They gave me shrugs as they passed by me. So much for them softening the blow.

            Edward stood at the wall-length window in front of me. His back was to me, but I could still see how tense he was as he gripped the windowsill.

            I wanted to go over and comfort him, because I knew he was hurt, but I also knew he was livid. I doubted he wanted my comfort at the moment.

            “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you, but I’m not sorry I did what I did, Edward.” His eyes snapped to me and he looked at me like I had lost my mind. I kept going though, I had to get all of this out before I lost my nerve. “He took everything from me, Edward. If you’re taking him down, I want in.”

            “You’re not _in_ anything, Bella. You’re not pulling another stunt like that again, do you understand?”

            “I won’t go behind your back again, I promise.”

            Edward just sighed. He knew I was playing with my words and not agreeing to what he wanted. He let it slide though.

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go - a little peak into what they've been up to! If you hadn't already guessed, this story is based off of reputation by Taylor Swift. I know Taylor is someone most people either love or hate, but just like HK you don't have to like/listen to the music in order to enjoy the story.


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